The week of Christmas, J and I decided to make Christmas cookies and take them to each of our neighbors. I didn’t realize when we began the process that we had 12 other neighbors in our building. Of course we would have to take some to everyone so as to not hurt feelings.
Many of our neighbors invited us in for some tea or coffee when they saw us at the door. We didn’t accept every time because we had limited time. We did accept some of their invitations and enjoyed getting to know some of them better. We felt very warmly welcomed by most people in our building.
We rang the bell for one neighbor, however, and it did not go so well. We had caught her in the middle of cooking dinner. I explained that we had Christmas cookies and a card. Most people immediately say, “Come on in, let’s drink something together, and talk.” Their culture demands that they give this response. This lady said, “I have stuff on my hands.” I said, “Ok, so...” Then she stated again that her hands were messy. She asked if she could just not accept our gift. We said it was fine and wished her a good night.
I felt the exchange to be weird. It seemed a pithy thing to reject cookies. I know in our endeavors we will always have rejections, this is a part of life. But somehow this exchange was different. I explained the interaction recently to some folks from back home. They told me that rejection was inevitable. I then, explained the situation to several folks who live in my current country. Their response was an incredulous, “What!?! That is so shameful.” It was indeed shameful. It’s no biggie for an American to reject a stranger coming up to their door giving something away. It might be a little weird but, hey, it’s a free country. But for Central Asia, what this woman did was quite rude.
I was grateful for the hospitality of the other neighbors. I told J that we should just make sure to love this one neighbor well.
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