A Week in the Life Episode 7

Before coming here, a friend explained that life overseas, especially the first year, is hard. Balance, she said, is a myth. There is no way I will be able to do everything I have to do and what I can’t do, I need to let go or find someone else to do it for me. Trying to keep my house clean has been a stressor. I have a pretty good sized place and not much stuff. My building is heated with coal in the winter time and in the summer time, windows are wide open. This means my large, open floors are always filthy from coal or dirt. It takes me about 2 hours to sweep and mop the whole place. My friends have a lady who cleans their house and told me she would like to work for another foreigner. Locals are serious about their cleaning and they’re also not the kindest bosses. Little grace + high expectations = toxic work environments. I contemplated having her come clean for me for months. Finally I decided it was time. Now I’m wondering what took me so long. 

We agreed that she would clean for me once a week for about 5 hours. I would pay her less than $20 a week. On her first day she was able to do in 5 hours what would have taken me at least 12. I was able to focus on language and catching up on emails while she worked her magic. My apartment was cleaner than it has been since I moved in. Floors were swept and mopped, furniture dusted, bathroom cleaned, things tidied, windowsills clean, doors dusted. I was so tickled with the end result that my mood turned from bleak to rejoicing. I find that when my house is in disarray, my mind is unsettled. My home was clean, I didn’t have to worry about when I would do it, I could host guests, I could focus on language, and she’d be back in a week to make sure it stayed this way! Not only that, between my house and my friends house, she could work 15 hours a week and make enough money to suit her needs. Win, win, win! I think it is $20 well spent!

I’ve been super encouraged in my language recently. Friends who have already walked down the language learning road explain that after lots of new language input, once the mind takes a break from input, bricks of language start falling into place. I feel like this season of not having class has been good for that. I find that concepts I learned months ago are finally coming out of my mouth naturally, almost intuitively. Grammar concepts that seemed like mush even two months ago now make sense and I’m slowly incorporating them into my vocabulary. I am understanding more and more as I read. I hope this momento and encouragement continues when I return to classes with almost fluent speakers.

I chatted with my language helper this week and she told me that my language has greatly improved over the last six months. She said I still make mistakes but not nearly as many as before. She is serious about correcting me and so compliments from her mean I really am doing better. I’ve also noticed how much a year’s time has made. I spent 3 hours chatting with and understanding a fast-talking local friend the other day. I’ve been doing this for a while but it dawned on me how neat it is that I am able to do that now. I wonder what another year will add to my abilities? 

The real kicker this week was when I called my friend who was struggling. We talked on the phone for over 30 minutes about deep heart issues in my second language. I wasn’t able to see her body language, I couldn’t always hear what she was saying, and yet we talked about deep things. In the end, she felt much better. What a blessing for both of us. I praised God at the end that He has given me this ability. 

In other news, I have officially been in my apartment for a year now. It was time to meet with my landlord about signing a new rental agreement. Most rentals adhere to the yearly rent increase scale so I met with him to discuss the new cost and sign papers. He  actually calculated the increase on the low side to save me some money. He could have been a jerk and price gouged me but he didn’t. We chatted about our relationship and how things were going. He told me his only complaint with me is that sometimes I pay my rent too early. It confuses his bookkeeping. :) This week, I received two water bills. One was my normal water bill. The other one said because of lack of payment, my water would be shut off. Each bill had a different apartment number so I asked him if both were mine. He said he was unsure and would look into it. He said, either way he’d take care of paying them this month. He asked if there were any other problems. After the bat invasion of 2015, I asked if he minded if I installed screens on the windows. He said he would pay for and take care of that as well. He continues to win the award for world’s greatest landlord. I’m grateful!

A Week in the Life Episode 6

Since my classes are on a break, I jumped on an opportunity to visit some friends in a nearby city. The city had a new cable car system up the mountain. There was snow at the top and we spent the day sledding. I giggled my way down the hill every.single.time. It was a nice getaway.

Riding up the mountain

My sledding buddy

Gorgeous view

I recently learned a new phrase, “Bekarlık Sultanlık,” which means “A bachelor’s life is a king’s life.” That very day I was able to use it as I was asked for the 437th time if I want to get married. 

One day I decided to make a lemon cake and take it to my neighbors. I tried two neighbors before finding Grandma F at home alone. She invited me in but I was a little hesitant. I have only sat with Grandma F once or twice and had a very hard time understanding her. She is from the village and speaks a dialect that is hard for me to understand. Usually her house helper is there and can translate between my foreign accent and Grandma’s village accent. 

Nonetheless she invited me in and we chatted for almost two hours. I learned that she has 5 kids that have established themselves in the professional world. One is a doctor, one a lawyer, one a bank director. Grandma F didn’t grow up in a world of affluence though. She and her husband actually lived in Germany for a while. She worked every day, 10 hours a day, as a janitor, first in a pharmaceutical company and then in a hospital. Her husband also worked. I imagine they worked so many hours in Germany to provide a good life for their kids. 

I asked how long she had been married. Sixty-four years. She was married when she was 14. She met her husband on her wedding day, an arranged marriage. She said she rode a horse to the wedding and relatives approached her on the horse, pinning gold jewelry on her. The wedding lasted for 4 days. She told me I need to go to a village wedding at some point to enjoy a different kind of wedding. 

She sneezed while I was there. I said the normal response of “Long life.” She said instead I should say, “May you have health.” She said it’s hard to live when you’re old if you have bad health. It would be better to have health than long years. I thought she made a good point. 

One day I came home exhausted and immediately had a good cry. I was grieving and processing friends leaving, changed relationships, culture, stress, etc. In the midst of the cry fest, I heard my doorbell. I ignored it at first but when it rang a second time, I decided to open the door, snot-faced and all. It was my downstairs neighbor’s teenage daughter. She was returning my plate filled with goodies from her mom. She asked how I was and since I was snot-faced, I told her I was sad about friends leaving. She told me not to be sad. I agreed because I was making new friends, like her family. The short exchange was sweet to my soul. 

A few days later, I was waiting on the sidewalk for my friend. A car drove by and it was some folks I had recently met. They were heading towards the city center and were going to offer me a ride. I was so glad they took time to say hey and show me love. Another day, I walked by a pharmacy I frequent. The owner waved at me and told me to come have tea with them. I declined since I was late to meet a friend. The hospitality here is off the charts. 

On hard days, comfort food is the best. There are very few stick-in-the-microwave meals. There are very few ready made meals. Most things must be made from scratch. I wanted some comfort food one day so I made corndogs. It was my first time making them myself. They were comfort to both my belly and heart.

Why Are You Hiding?

“Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

We talked about this passage recently during our fellowship time. One thing that I had never paid much attention to is that the guy who owed the ten thousand talents was forgiven his whole debt. It makes sense in the analogy but I had not noticed it before. I guess I always assumed the story read that the guy was to work off what he could of his debt and the king would forgive the rest. But it’s not how it happened. 

The guy owed so much money, he could never even make a dent in the debt. And the unthinkable happened, the king forgave it ALL. The same king, just minutes before, was willing to sell him and his family to help pay for the debt. 

During our discussion, the question was asked why the man who had just been forgiven so much would not extend that same mercy to one of his debtors who owed only a day’s wages. My friend pointed out that maybe the first guy didn’t really think the king would stick to his word, maybe the king would hold it over his head. Perhaps he decided he needed to get as much money to help pay for the debt as he could in case the king changed his mind. In essence, he didn’t understand the full magnitude of the good news which had been delivered to him. 

Several weeks ago, I read Genesis 3. After Adam and Eve ate the fruit, they hid in shame and covered their naked bodies. God asked, “Where are you?” and “Who told you that you were naked?” As I was praying through this, I felt like the Lord said to me, “Where are you? Why are you hiding? Who told you that you were naked? You have no shame, no need to hide. I erased your sin. I took your shame. I have clothed you in Jesus’ righteousness. I welcome the weakest things in you. There is no need to hide or to fear to come to me. In every situation, you can come to me. You are my beloved daughter.” 

Later, I was listening to the song, “Christ Be All Around Me” by All Sons and Daughters. The bridge says, “Your life, your death, your blood was shed for every moment.” Jesus died for every single moment of our lives. The worst things in our past, each time we sinned today, the worst thing we will do, in all of these, we have no debt. We will not have a debt. But more than this, he died not just to forgive our sin moments, he died for every moment. Joyful moments, grieving moments, happy moments, victory over sin moments, deferred hope moments, waiting moments. He wants to invade all of these places and bring his presence. It reminds me of the line from ‘Joy to the World,’ that says, “He comes to make His blessings flow far as the curse is found.” 

I think it’s all connected. The entirety of our debt has been forgiven. We no longer have to work off any of it. We’re not trying to do as much good as possible to appease God. Jesus did enough. Our debt has been paid in full. We can come before God’s presence boldly and at any time without feeling the need to be ashamed or to hide. And in coming to Him often and regularly, how can He not bleed into all the areas of our lives until no more curse is found? 

Ephesus Excursion

A friend of mine came to visit and we decided to take a trip to see Ephesus on her last full day in the country. We found a cheap little hotel and booked it the day before we would stay there. I have to comment yet again on how quickly I have developed a knack for making last minute plans. We arrived in the small touristy city at the bus station. We then walked to our hotel. The owner, Emre, endeared himself to us only minutes after our arrival. While helping carry our bags to our room he said, if we need anything to just stick our heads out the window and yell “Emre!” and he would come running. It was ridiculously cute. After we rested and ate our packed lunch, we returned to Emre for a map. He pointed out all of the nearby sites and explained how to get to each one, what time each closed, and where a great restaurant was. After learning that we would be leaving before breakfast, at 6:30 in the morning, he declared that he would make us sandwiches to eat on the train and take us to the train station in his own car. I mean, come on! Wasn’t that precious. What hotel in America would go through half of that effort? This is why I love living here. 

Our cute hotel.

Most of this exchange was in my second language. Emre asked where I was living. Most assume I live in one of the three large cities. When I named my small city, as per usual custom, his jaw dropped. The jaw drop is one of my favorite things about living here. Emre was shocked that I would live THERE. He told me I was the first customer from that city. He had never even had a native person stay at his hotel. I think my ability to converse with tourist workers scores me major brownie points. 

We decided to see St. John’s church first since it closed first. The weather forecast was calling for rain. We came prepared. Donning rain jackets and rain boots and armed with our umbrella we traipsed up the hill where the church ruins stood, five minutes from our hotel. 

Church history believes that John spent his last days in Ephesus and was buried at the church. There is also a castle that they have been restoring over the past few years. Inside the castle was a cistern. 

St. John's Church

John's supposed grave

Castle

Cistern

The rain was schizophrenic while we were there. One minute would be calm and then the next would have gusts of wind and giant rain drops. By the time we were exiting, it was raining pretty hard. 

Dark rain clouds and sunshine - typical of our day.

We returned to our hotel and took a breather. After a few minutes Emre’s cousin called a taxi to take us to Ephesus. While waiting, I asked why they had named the place ‘Amazon Petite Palace.’ He asked if I knew what Amazon meant. I said, yeah, the place in Brazil. He laughed and said it was something else. He explained that the Amazons were women warriors. I had never heard of these women. Apparently they are mentioned in Homer’s Iliad which takes place in my present country. The cousin realized we were about to head out into the rain and voluntarily loaned us his extra umbrella when he realized we only had one to share. Again, they were so sweet. 

We taxied to Ephesus. The rain meant the place was almost empty. Although it was my 4th time there, I loved seeing it in the rain, quiet, abandoned, and beautifully wet. In the quiet, I heard a bell/call of sorts. I looked up at the hillside and saw sheep moving toward their shepherd’s call. This land is full of surprises like that.

Empty Ephesus

As we made our way through Ephesus, we saw a few other people crazy enough to tour in the rain. One couple decided to make the best of it and had found table umbrellas to carry with them. It was hilariously great. 

Table umbrellas

Even though I have been there several times the library’s architecture still wows. 

The amphitheater gets me every time as well. To think of the grandness of the place and that I read about that very place in the book of Acts wows me every time. 

We had planned to take a minibus back to the city center. Since it was a rainy, winter day and the place was closing, a taxi driver offered to take us in his cab for about $1 more than the minibus ride would have been. We took him up on the offer. 

From there we decided to get some dinner. Emre had suggested the Dragon restaurant so we decided to go there. The restaurant sat about 10 people inside and we were the only customers. Mehmet, the owner, chatted with us as he cooked our food. He, also, was surprised to find that I spoke his language. While cooking our food, a couple of people were considering coming to the restaurant. They had 10 in their party and were walking away when they realized there was not room inside. We offered to move to the 2 person table to free up the booth. Mehmet called his son and asked him to come help since they had such a big party returning in a few minutes. The people never returned. My heart was so endeared to Mehmet that I wanted to cry on his behalf. And seriously, his food was delicious. We got the meat combo platter and each new bite only got better. Those tourists missed out!

My friend Mehmet

Amazingly delicious food!

Since the restaurant was empty, we ended up talking for over an hour about life, truth, faith, and love. In the midst of the conversation, he called his friend who lives in my city to tell him to watch out for me and take care of me. Mehmet told him that I am now his good friend and a part of his family. Again, I am awed by how sweet these locals can truly be. 

We left the restaurant and popped in a souvenir shop to buy one last thing. The guy in there started chatting with me in the local language. He explained that his culture is different than mine. He said that sometimes he says hello to a person and ends up with a lifelong friendship. He said sometimes he says hello and wishes he hadn’t. I felt that way with him. Our conversation with him was insightful but after an hour I did wish I hadn’t said hello. 

We returned to the hotel and crashed. We woke up the following morning before the sun arose to find Emre’s cheerful self eager to serve us. He had sandwiches packed as promised and then took us to the train station making sure we knew where to get on and how to pay for a ticket. I told my friend that I felt like we just experienced something you would see in a movie like ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding.’ We hopped on the train and watched the dawn coloring the countryside. It had been a good few days with my friend and I was thankful for her visit and for our fun little excursion to Ephesus. I definitely intend to stay with Emre and visit Mehmet again if I ever find myself in the area. 

Magical Snow Covered Cave City

Several years ago, I saw a travel website for my country that said staying at the Taskonak Hotel was a must do. I fell in love with the pictures and decided to add it to my bucket list. After our Airplane Detour, we spent several days in the magical snow covered cave city and stayed in the bucket list hotel. The hotel itself wasn’t as magical as I remember but the fairy chimney cave city covered in snow was quite magical. 

The refrigerator did not work so we created our own refrigerator in the window. It was so cold outside, the window kept our things cold. One of the coolest parts of staying there for me was that we had a real skeleton key as our room key. It took me several tries to figure out how to use it but once I learned, I felt nostalgic about getting to use the old key.

Our makeshift refrigerator

What a cool old key!

We spent our time there sleeping, shopping, eating, and seeing the sights. With the icy snow covered hills, I was so thankful we had not rented a car to drive. 

Magical Snow City

One of the things I love about my country is the beautiful art forms here. I felt like everywhere we turned, I was looking at something beautiful. We stumbled into one shop and found a guy decorating some of the beautiful ceramic plates sold here. We visited a carpet store and my mom picked out a carpet. Of course it was at least an hour long process and we had at least one cup of tea. I also bought some beautiful colorful glass lamps. 

Glass plate before it is fired in the kiln

After pic

My favorite carpet

The carpet my mom bought

The city is famous for their meat and veggie dish cooked in clay pots. On our last night, we decided to try it with shrimp. Bad choice. We all agreed the flavor was not good. I had had the dish with beef and remember it being yummy but this version was awful. I don’t say that very often about the local cuisine. I made friends with the server since I spoke his language. He offered to let me beat the lid off of the clay pot with a knife. The angle was a little awkward and I couldn’t get a good, solid hit. He told me to hit harder and I suggested that he should just finish the job. I hit one more time and nailed him on his thumb. He then finished the job for me. My mom scored a video of this entire exchange. 

Our food was cooked in those clay pots

A fun snowman outside the restaurant

Airplane Detour

It had been 363 days since I last saw any of my family members and my mom and brother were scheduled to arrive the next day. I was excited, apprehensive, and anxious all at the same time. I was excited to see my family and introduce them to my world. I was apprehensive that at the last minute, the whole thing might fall apart and they wouldn’t come. I was anxious at all the details that had to fall in place and my role in those details to finally make it to the point where I could see them. 

My city only has 2-3 flights in and out each week. I found one the day before my family was coming that went to the big city where they would arrive. It made more sense and was cheaper for me to fly up a day early as opposed to bussing up on the day they arrived. Yes, sometimes plane tickets are cheaper than bus tickets here. Luckily I know people crazy enough to live in the big city and one friend agreed to let me stay with her. She told me which bus to take from the airport and where to get off. I was only on the bus for an hour but it could have taken a lot longer. We then taxied to her place where I spent a relaxing evening and morning. 

My mom and brother were scheduled to arrive at 2:30 and we estimated it would take me about an hour to get to the airport. A taxi ride and 2 metros later and I arrived just as their plane landed. I stood waiting and kept wondering if they would ever come. But come they did and we hugged out our gladness.

We hung around, waiting on our flight that would take us to a touristy city where we would vacation for a few days. I made some Italian friends on the flight and all was jolly and well for the majority of the flight. We began the descent and as I looked out the window, I thought that the outside looked very foggy. I wondered how the pilot could see in the fog. Suddenly, he pulled the plane up and we were out of the fog. A few minutes later, he made an announcement. I couldn’t understand because of the muffled sound and it was in my second language. I heard some disgruntled flyers and knew it wasn’t good. The captain then came on in English and I understood that because of bad weather conditions, we could not land and instead would go to another city, 4 hours by car away. 

After we landed, the captain came on again and said that we could either return to our original departure city or else they would take us to the bus station and give us money for a bus ticket. Most people chose the latter option. It took them a while to let us off the plane. I made a friend with a local girl. She knew English so everyone was expecting her to translate for them. I decided to just get to know by speaking her language. Because of that, she became our advocate. She helped the others too but made quite sure that myself and my family was cared for.  

We made our way to the ticket refund counter. More bad news, the bus wouldn’t leave for the touristy city until 3 hours later, 1:00 am. Then it would only take us as far as the bus station 30 minutes from where we were supposed to stay. The earliest we would arrive to the bus station would be 4:00 am, 7 hours from that moment. There were a couple American girls and a Columbian girl stranded with us. We decided to check on rental cars and see if we could carpool together in a big van. My local friend said, it would be too expensive and she didn’t want to risk missing the bus. We parted ways. 

The rest of us went to the rental car level. At the first counter, I discovered there was 1 small car, big enough for myself and my family plus all our luggage. The 2 American girls went to see if they could find another small car and we would follow each other along the way. They found another car to join up with but it didn’t have enough room for the Columbian girl.  While I was waiting on them to find a way, the original available car was rented. I started checking around and finally found 1 guy who wouldn’t rent a car but said he would drive us (plus the Columbian girl) there and drop us off for the same price as renting a car only we wouldn’t have to buy gas. That made it cheaper since gas is about $6 a gallon here. Also, I couldn’t leave the Columbian girl all alone to fend for herself. Our original guy had had a cancellation so he said he could rent us a car but it was a manual transmission. I can’t drive a manual which meant my brother who had not slept in about 30 hours would have to drive the entire 4 hour trip. 

We decided to let the one guy drive us. As we were waiting on him, and the wait kept getting longer, we called my dad and he flipped out. He didn’t want us getting in a car with a stranger. I called my close friends here and filled them in on the situation. They suggested we try to leave right then and make the bus. They were checking online and it seemed as if there were still plenty of seats. We grabbed our things and headed to catch a taxi. As we were getting in, my friends told me there were actually no seats left on the bus. I told the cab driver and he asked where we needed to go. I told him the name of the city four hours away. He said he could take us. Yeah, but how much will it cost? $250. We were all so tired and stressed and just ready to be doing something productive that we went for it. 

My mom, brother, and our Columbian friend were stuffed in the back seat holding bags. The rest of our luggage was shoved in the trunk and our driver used bungee cords to secure it. I sat up front with him since I could speak with him. My guy friend got on the phone with him and said he would be checking in regularly and he best take good care of us. We stopped for gas and the guy brought us all waters in an effort to show he was caring for us. I called my dad and he felt much more at ease about this situation. After the gas stop, we were on our way.

I quickly realized the road was quite icy and foggy. I was glad none of us had to drive. Our taxi driver sped along faster than I would have been comfortable with, considering the conditions. He told me he was driving slow due to the weather but his slow was still too fast for my comfort. I tried to talk to him the whole way so he wouldn’t fall asleep. I also prayed a lot that we wouldn’t slide off the road and that our bungee corded bags wouldn’t go bouncing down the highway. 

The trip took forever. I think he didn’t know where our hotel’s city was and ended up going a longer way. Between the longer way and the fog, the cab meter kept increasing. I wondered if he would stick to his original offer. He was pleasant until the last hour and began to grow frustrated that the place was further than he had thought. He had told me he would drive back that same night, sleep an hour, and then work all day again. I felt bad for him.

We finally arrived and he gladly slung our bags out beside our hotel. I asked if the fee was still $250. He said we were now friends and it had been a long, slow way and the fare had way exceeded his original offer. Perhaps I could offer more. I offered $300. He said $320 was better. And in this backwards haggling game, I was somehow coaxed into paying $70 more for the cab ride. I was trying to figure out how much our Columbian friend needed to contribute. He asked for the fare in dollars. She didn’t have dollars but did have Euros. It was 4:30 in the morning by this point, I had been speaking my second language for 4 and a half hours between midnight and 4:30. My brain was tired. Standing in the icy 16 degree weather I was trying to divide $320 by 4 and then translate the money into Euros. I paid the guy and he drove away. We were all shaking from cold, stress, and fatigue. We lugged our bags up the icy stairs trying to find the entrance to our cave hotel. The hotel guy had been sleeping. He jumped up, helped with our bags, and took us to our room. We finally crashed somewhere around 5 in the morning. 

What a welcome that was for my mom and brother. They had just been traveling for 30 hours, with little to no sleep only to be faced with extreme stress. I had wanted their first few days to be restful and relaxing. I had wanted them to experience the beauty of my country from the get go. Alas, it wasn’t the case. God had other plans. Instead, I think he wanted them to see how he provides for and sustains me in neat ways through really hard and stressful days.