The Greener Grasses of Sabbaths

I remember a hard season of my life from several years ago. My weeks consisted of serving in my fellowship’s college ministry, leading a small group, meeting one on one with some of the gals in my small group, serving on the worship team for my fellowship and working 40 hours a week. In addition, my roommate had introduced me to a homeless friend and we were trying to help this new friend find housing, food, help, etc. My weeks, months blazed by for about two years. I woke up one morning feeling oppressed, feeling so heavy and overwhelmed, feeling like I would never have another happy thought and feeling as if I were cloaked in darkness. I wanted to cry all day long. I woke up the next day and felt the exact same way. Days turned into weeks and I could not shake the feeling of waking every morning with intense heaviness. No matter how much I prayed, was prayed for, how much scripture I read, how much peaceful music I played, I was in a major funk.   

The only thing that would bring me minutes of relief on these days was to go for a special walk. I would get up in the morning and set out to walk the streets of my neighborhood.  On the walks I would breathe in deep and say to myself, “Be still and know that I am God.” I felt the Holy Spirit prompt me with this question: ‘What does that mean?‘ Here is a journal entry from one of those mornings:

“You whisper to me - ‘Candace, what does it mean that I am God?’ Each time the question is posed I am invited to understand a new attribute of You. This morning my answer was ‘You are the supreme authority of everything.’ 'What does that mean’ You asked. I said, ‘You are in control and nothing happens without Your approval. Satan is under Your authority. My struggles and battles of the last two weeks are also under Your authority.’” 

Every morning we would have this conversation and for a few minutes, I felt a little lighter until I had to move on with my day.  

I remember thinking over and over during this season that work was too much for me. Working 5 days a week seemed to drain the life out of me. In the midst of this oppressed season, I decided to take a month break from serving in all areas to figure out the cause of heaviness. I began to complain to God that 2 day weekends were simply not enough time to rest. I felt so convinced of this that I decided to do a word study on this idea of rest.

“Six days you shall do your work, but on the seventh day you shall rest*;” -Exodus 23:12

*rest (7673) cessation, cease, sit still, loss of time

“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest*. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest* for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” 
-Matthew 11:28-30

*rest (372,373) intermission, recreation, repose, take ease, refresh

Six days the bible says that humans are supposed to work and suddenly I realized I already I had it easier with 5 day work weeks. The verse says we should work six days but then rest on the 7th. My 7th day consisted of ‘resting’ by doing dishes, laundry, grocery store runs and hanging out individually with lifegroup gals. Rest was completely absent from my life. During this season, I heard a sermon by my friend Bryan about sheep. He said sheep are creatures of habit and without a shepherd they travel one path until they create a rut and get stuck there. They also stay in one pasture and pollute their food source. At that point I realized I was in a rut of busyness and polluting my food source by refusing to change things. Through this difficult season of heaviness, I made a fantastic decision that has shaped my life. I set aside Sundays (after church) to rest, to cease, to sit still (or nap). I took an intermission from life, work and emptying myself. I took time for recreation, repose, refreshment. My Shepherd fetched me from the rut of busyness and made me ‘lie down in green pastures‘ and he led me ‘beside quiet waters’.    

I have thought about this idea often this past week. Many conversations have been with people around me feeling overwhelmed. I know the feeling of being overcommitted and examining my schedule and wondering how I’m going to get it all done much less carve out a chunk of time to be still. I have come to realize it is similar to tithing. When I give of the first part of my income, there seems to be more than enough to cover my needs. The same is true with my time, if I trust God with the first part, it seems as if He expands my time to accomplish the things He wants me to accomplish. This past week I experienced the greener grasses of a day of rest and enjoyed the fruits of a rested mind and body. I felt rested and energized and had a mental capacity to do my work well. I have checked multiple things off of my to do list in addition to my normal work and serving schedule.    

Cease.

"Come away with me for a while. The world, with its nonstop demands, can be put on hold. Most people put Me on hold, rationalizing that someday they will find time to focus on Me. But the longer people push Me into the background of their lives, the harder it is for them to find Me. 

You live among people who glorify busyness; they have made time a tyrant that controls their lives. Even those who know Me as Savior tend to march to the tempo of the world. They have bought into the illusion that more is always better: more meetings, more programs, more activity. 

I have called you to follow Me on a solitary path, making time alone with Me your highest priority and deepest Joy. It is a pathway largely unappreciated and often despised. However, you have chosen the better thing, which will never be taken away from you. Moreover, as you walk close to Me, I can bless others through you."

-Sarah Young 'Jesus Calling' p. 208

Teach Me to Suffer Well

Romans 8 Musings: There is so much good, solid truth in those ancient words on paper, so much hope. Just listen to the roll of blessings:

There is now no condemnation. 

    Yes!  I'll take it!

Set free from the law of sin and death.

    Sounds great to me!

God did what the law or my weak self could not do. He sent His own Son to fulfill the law as well as take my deserved penalty. 

    That's crazy for Him but I'll take that too!

I now fulfill the righteous requirement of the law.   

    Insanity, but I am thankful.

Life and peace?

    Sure thing!

Life given to my mortal body?

    Yes, please!

Debtor to the Spirit?

    If I'm going to be a debtor, I would rather be one to the
    Life-Giver.

I'm a Son of God?

    Awesome!

Slavery to fear exchanged for adoption as son?

    Sounds like a good deal to me.

We are children of God, children AND heirs.

    How can it get any better than that?

I'm a child as long as I suffer with Him and then I'll be glorified with Him.

    Absolutely I want to be glorified...............

            but wait just a second..............

                        Did that list of gloriously hopeful truths just 
                        say the dreaded 's' word?

                                    Am I really supposed to SUFFER?

“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs - heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ provided we SUFFER with him that we may also be glorified with him.”  -Romans 8:16-17

Those verses make me cringe a little. Too frequently I buy into the idea of God that God is love, God is good and how could a good God allow inconveniences or discomfort to come my way and even worse, why would He allow any real trouble or heartache in my life? I am too quick to whine and complain when I am inconvenienced in any way. Dare I speculate the condition of my heart if I were exposed to true suffering?

Paul goes on to say, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with glory that is to be revealed to us.” It’s almost as if Paul thinks his sufferings are minuscule, trivial, a mere stubbed toe when compared with the blessings to come. What exactly does he mean when he says suffering? When I think of suffering in my life, I think of headaches, waiting on future blessings, dealing with issues and conflict with family and friends, being woken earlier than planned or sitting in my hot apartment without air conditioning. Here is Paul’s account of his own sufferings:

“with far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death. Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one.  Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure.” -2 Corinthians 11:23-27

If I were to endure just one of those things, I would most likely be in a corner somewhere sucking my thumb and wondering if God really existed. Paul endured them all and still he says his sufferings are not worth comparing with the future glory.  

Sufferings are glorious because:

Sufferings are momentary. “For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison”. -2 Corinthians 4:17

Sufferings are glorious because all things work together for good. This means suffering is used for my good to conform me to the image and character of Christ.  

Sufferings are glorious because God uses them to bring others to Him so creation will be “set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.”  (vs. 21)  

-What is death when I have immortality awaiting me? (vs. 11)

-What is loss of possessions compared to inheriting God’s kingdom? (vs. 17)

-What is a beating with knowledge that my body will be redeemed? (vs. 23)

-What are insults compared to being justified and glorified by God? (vs. 30)

-Who can be against me if God is for me? (vs. 31)

-He didn’t spare His Son, will He spare any needed thing? (vs. 32)

-What do earthly arrests, accusations, condemnations matter when no eternal charge can be brought against me and my Condemner now intercedes for me? (vs. 33, 34)

-Who or what can separate me from His love and isn’t this the only thing that matters? (vs. 35)

-If I am killed, distressed, persecuted, in danger, if I endure hunger, nakedness, trials, I don’t throw a pity party but I rejoice that I am more than a conquerer. (vs. 35-37)

-Death can’t separate me from Jesus and neither can life.

-Angels, demons, rulers, powers can’t separate me.

-Nothing in the present, nothing in the future can separate me.

-Nothing in the entire created world can drive a wedge between me and Jesus and eternity. It is all made by Him, He rules over all, it is all within His realm of authority and supremacy.

I have seen in my own life that my most difficult seasons have in the end made me more like Jesus and caused a greater dependency on Him. I have two friends who have recently went through a lot with their family and they see that this trouble has brought them closer to God. I heard last week of a man who was arrested some time ago for his faith.  He was tortured so badly that he was unable to sit down for two weeks and yet he perseveres. I know of another man currently in prison who knows the glory of suffering and has seen terrorists and others come to Christ because of his imprisonment. I know of yet another man who was arrested and tortured along with every other Christian in his country. After this arrest, he speculated that the number of Christians would begin to decline. To his surprise the number of Christians jumped up 40% in a span of 3 years. He suggests praying not that persecution will end but rather for perseverance to endure persecution. 

“Until we are willing to give up all we consider important in this life - our comfort, our cars, our homes, our families, our careers, our entertainment, our savings, our retirement accounts, whatever Christ requires of us to be His disciples and accomplish His work - the world will not take the church seriously.” -Brother Andrew

Oh my Father, you know my weaknesses, You know my cowardly tendencies. You see how frequently I complain over inconveniences. You know how frequently I bow to the god of comfort, how often I take the wide path because it is easier than the narrow one. I continue to ask You to purge me of me. Teach me to suffer well for the sake of Your glory and my good. Conform me more and more to Christ so when the time comes and You give me an opportunity to make You look glorious, may I be ready and join the countless millions who have suffered for You. May I not whine and complain about my rights as an American but recognize that if You were hated, I should be hated too and may I rejoice that I look so much like You that others think to hate me. I think of Jesus who suffered and endured the cross alone and though He calls me to suffer, He is there with me rooting for me. May I never desire false pleasures that wilt and disappear into nothing. Give me a heart of gratitude in all circumstances so that I endure whatever comes my way and view it as a joy and a privilege. May I abandon all if it be Your will for the sake of bringing people to know and worship You. I need Your Spirit to fill me because if left to myself I will cower in fear. Embolden my heart with courage to embrace Your paths and for perseverance for those paths knowing that You stand with me. Protect me from the enemy that He will have no occasion to choke out my seeds. I need You Lord. Amen.   

Other readings:

"Because there is no true happiness apart from holiness, and there is no true holiness apart from knowing what it means to suffer unhappiness. And there is no knowing how to suffer unhappiness apart from God."

"I simply pray that you will not be apart from God. I don't say this cheaply: It's through suffering unhappiness that God may beckon you into deeper happiness in Him." 

-Ann Voskamp Blog 7.10.12

“More Christians have died for their faith in the 20th century than in all other centuries of church history combined.”

“It is estimated that two-thirds of all the martyrs in Christian history died in the 20th century.”

"This reality forces us to take another look at what Paul means in Romans 8:28 by ‘our good.’ If our good is a stable, safe, healthy, happy, and reasonably wealthy middle-class life, then logically one can conclude that God really does not work for the good of the largest portion of the global church today." 

"But our highest good is not a problem-free life; it is to be like the Son."

"The greatest glory Jesus brought to God was not when he walked on water or prayed for long hours, but when he cried in agony in the garden of Gethsemane and still continued to follow God's will, even though it meant isolation, darkness, and the silence of God. Thus, we know that when everything around us fails, when we are destroyed and abandoned, our tears, blood, and dead corpses are the greatest worship songs we have ever sung."

"This means that our calling to bring life to the world and glory to God has other blessings besides the joy we have now: the joy of bringing hope and light to a pain-filled world and the joy of pleasing the God we love, through our willing surrender to his desire. Here I am speaking of a far greater joy that awaits us: the joy of being welcomed, restored, and glorified by the Father, just as he welcomed, restored, and glorified his risen Son." -Ziya Meral 3-19-2008 Christianity Today

“If we only love God when our circumstances are going good, then God isn’t our God, our circumstances are.”

“The cross is proof that He doesn’t always change the circumstance, but it is proof that He always has a purpose in every circumstance... the hope in trouble is the cross of Jesus Christ.”  -Louie Giglio

Joseph, through abandonment, imprisonment, false accusations, in a word suffering was able to serve not only his family but the nations and he saw his suffering as good:  “When all the land of Egypt was famished, the people cried to Pharaoh for bread.  Pharaoh said to all the Egyptians, ‘Go to Joseph. What he says to you, do.’ - Moreover, all the earth came to Egypt to Joseph to buy grain, because the famine was severe over all the earth.” -Genesis 41:55,57

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good (Romans 8:28), to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”  -Genesis 50:20

“It is accepted in the trusting certainty that a father’s hand will never cause his child a needless tear, then out of suffering come things which the easy way may never bring.”

-William Barclay

“And yet all loneliness, angers, hatreds, envies, and itchings that it [Hell] contains, if rolled into one single experience and put into the scale against the least moment of the joy that is felt by the least in Heaven, would have no weight that could be registered at all. Bad cannot succeed even in being bad as truly as good is good.” 

“All Hell is smaller than one pebble of your earthly world: but it is smaller than one atom of this world [Heaven], the Real World. Look at yon butterfly. If it swallowed all Hell, Hell would not be big enough to do it any harm or to have any taste.”

-C.S. Lewis, ‘The Great Divorce

The Greener Grasses of Jet Lag

One of the things I have come to love about traveling internationally is the effects of jet lag. I woke up a little after 4 am and it is now 6 am. Thus far this morning, I have cried out in prayer over a situation weighing heavily on me. I have had a private worship time singing truths that I can lay my burdens at God’s feet because He loves me and because Jesus tore the veil separating me from God. I proclaimed that when I don’t understand, I will choose to trust Him and everything is possible with Him because He is here and He is good. I spent time in the Word, with the Word remembering that the Word was in the beginning and all things were made by Him and He is life and a Light that will always triumph and darkness has not, cannot, will not ever overtake the Light.  

I just watched the morning light overtake the night and praying and worshipping and hoping that local and global figurative nights will also be overtaken by the Light of the World.

And I still have 4 hours before I must 'start' my day.