Recent Thoughts

I just wanted to share some of the things the Father is teaching me these days.

1. There is No Law Prohibiting

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” - Galatians 5:22-23

I have read or heard these two verses too many times to count. In all my years, I have focused on the fruits but ignored the last phrase entirely. “Against such there is no law.” I don’t know that I even knew it existed until I read it in my second language and realized I had no idea what the last words meant. I used a translator and it gave this result: “There is no law prohibiting such qualities.” In other words, there is not a law in this world that will say any of the following:

“Showing love to a person is forbidden.”

“Joy is forbidden. If you’re joyful, you will be punished.”

“War is the preferred state. Do not attempt to bring peace to this city.”

“You are forbidden to be patient. Please be impatient.”

“You are commanded to be mean to your neighbor. Kindness and goodness are both prohibited.” 

“Now hiring a person who is irresponsible, undependable, unstable, and unreliable. If you don’t have these qualities, please don’t respond.”

“Make sure to be harsh, cruel, and violent in your relationships.”

“Please overindulge and live in excess. Be wasteful.”

If I live in the Spirit, I’ll have these fruits in my relationships. I doubt anyone will complain that I am too kind, that I have given too much grace, I bring them down with my joy. May  these fruits be ever increasing in my life. 

2. Un-

I’ve been meditating on two “un-” words over the past week. The first is “Unwavering,” the other is “Unmeasured.” My friend sent me words to Bethany Dillon’s song called ‘Unwavering.’ 

Unwavering is Your voice, unwavering is Your hand

Unwavering is the heart that bled for the sins of man

It’s refreshing to know that the heart that bled for my sins has proved Himself in that act to be unwavering. 

On another day, I was struggling with being single. I don’t always struggle but that particular day I was sad. I listened to the song ‘Come Behold the Wondrous Mystery.’ In that song the line, “grace unmeasured, love untold,” caught my attention. Christ’s love for me, His bride was unmeasured. He didn’t think, I’m willing to give this much for my bride and no more. He loved lavishly without trying to budget his cost. I was reminded once again that He loves me as no human man can and I was once again satisfied with only His love. 

3. Necessary

“Everything is necessary that God sends our way; nothing can be necessary that He withholds.” -John Newton

I’ve been wrestling with this truth. If He sends something my way, even if it’s hard or painful, it is necessary and for my good. If He withholds something from me, even if it’s a seemingly good thing, it is not necessary and ultimately not for my good. If He takes something away, it is no longer necessary and therefore no longer for my good. In other words, everything I have is necessary and for my good. Everything I do not have is not necessary and would not be for my ultimate good. He is trustworthy in it all. 

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

    the Lord bestows favor and honor.

No good thing does he withhold

    from those who walk uprightly.” -Ps 84:11

“He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” -Rm 8:32

4. He Will Finish the Work

“And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.” -Matthew 24:14

I read this article. Jesus said the whole world will hear. The work will be finished. He didn’t say it might or it should but it will. He knows everything and so he also knows this to be true. 

5. Untethered

My friend wrote to me recently and said she was reading about the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer who died for his faith. I wanted to share some of what she wrote here because it’s been on my mind a lot lately. 

“Why did such a wonderful man have to go through that? Why did he have to die? It's just sad, you know? There's really no getting around the sadness, the wrongness, of it.

I don't think I really came to any profound conclusions about this, but my thoughts at the time and now are 1) The reason for all of this is sin. The reason for the heaviness, the darkness, the dying, the sadness, the weeping is sin. 2) I'm a sinner. I'm not any different from the people who took that man's life. 3) I wish we didn't sin. I wish we didn't struggle with these hard, heavy, dark, sad things. Sin is no fun, and its effects are no fun. 4) I feel like God might be calling me, and was causing the man I'm reading about, to become un-tethered from things "down here." I haven't thought out exactly what that means, but I think the Father walks with all His children down paths that ultimately make them release their hold on earth and reach for Home. Sometimes, this happens gradually. Maybe suffering and loss slowly help us desire and depend less on people and things here and more on Him. Sometimes, maybe this happens quickly for some people. At some point, everyone has to face death, the ultimate "un-tether-er," and then, I think the Father wants to help His children let go even of life so that they can grasp real, true life.

I think God wants both of us to climb to a higher level, where we are less and less tied down by the sin we see — in ourselves, in others, in circumstances, etc. Not that we don't feel things or don't try to change things, but that we feel it and work against it with a different mindset, with a heart that says, "Yes, this hurts, and it's not good, and I hate it, and I'm going to fight it, but I am with the Father, and He is with me, and He is going to keep me and make everything right." 

And, the wonderful thing about that is that being the Father's is the one glorious fact that is the source of everything bright. There is no heaviness or darkness or death or sadness or weeping in Him, and He promises to banish those things for us one day. And, in the meantime, He invites us to find relief from all those things in the truth and reality that the Son has born the heaviness of sin, He has experienced the deepest darkness of His Father's wrath so that we will never have to, He has made death powerless over us, He is sad and weeps with and for us but promises happiness and laughter. He is calling people out of darkness in your city. He is using you to sow the harvest and perhaps to reap it. You are one of a very few people in your city who do not live in a reality of darkness and death. You live in a  reality of brightness and life. Even when this is hard to feel and the heaviness is easier to feel, the Father and His truth are still the same. You are still truly alive. You are still His.”

It was good to be reminded that pain is often God’s way of untethering us from this world. He wants us to take hold of that which is truly life. He has experienced the deepest darkness so we can have abundant light. So we fight against and push back the darkness with an eternal power fueling us. 

6. Love Lustres at Calvary

My friend recently shared a prayer called ‘Love Lustres at Calvary.’  

I was reminded that after all Jesus did for me, 

He was... So I could...

all anguish be all joy

cast off be brought in

treated as an enemy be welcomed as a friend

surrendered to hell’s worst attain heaven’s best

stripped be clothed

wounded be healed

thirsty drink

tormented be comforted

made a shame inherit glory

in darkness have eternal light

dead live

How can I ever doubt his faithfulness after all He endured for my sake?

Undeserved Grace

He had been away for a long time but knew it was time to go back. In some ways he was ready and in some ways he was deathly afraid. He hadn’t left on good terms. He had left because his brother wanted to kill him. Reflecting back, it seemed like his brother was justified in his desire. After all, he had taken advantage of him in his weak state and managed to wrench his firstborn birthright away from him. That was an old wound. Then with his mom’s help, he tricked his father and flat out robbed his brother of the firstborn blessing too. That’s when his brother vowed to kill him and he packed his bags and fled. 

Had it really been twenty years since he had left? He wondered if the years had caused his brother’s anger to mellow or flame all the more. He wished there was a way to avoid him all together. What if Esau killed him? Or worse, what if he killed his wives or his children and made Jacob watch? He briefly remembered God’s promise that the land would be given to his abundant descendants. Was God really going to stick to his promise after all that Jacob had done. Could he really trust this God to provide what He had promised? As he made his way back with his flocks and herds, wives, and children, God’s angels met him. “Perhaps, God’s faithfulness is not fragile after all,” he thought, “maybe everything is going to be alright.” 

He sent some messengers ahead to let Esau know he was coming. The messenger returned and said Esau was coming to meet him with 400 men. Four hundred men? Apparently Esau was still ticked. He began to panic. He began to look within for a way to protect himself from Esau’s wrath. He racked his brain for a plan. He divided everyone into two groups thinking that surely if Esau attacked one group, the other could escape. 

He still felt unsettled. “What a fool I have been!” he said. He dropped to his knees and cried out to God. He reminded God that it was His idea that he return. He realized he was unworthy of all the gifts God had blessed him with up to this point. He confessed his fear and asked God to be his protector. He remembered God’s promise of land and descendants and hope was again birthed in his heart. 

He decided to make a peace offering with Esau. He got together a bunch of animals to send ahead. He wanted to make up for my former sins against Esau. He wanted peace with him more than anything. He sent everyone away. He was alone, or so he thought. He saw a figure in the darkness. He and this figure wrestled until day break. Suddenly searing pain came as the figure put his hip out of socket. Jacob held on and begged for a blessing. The figure blessed him and changed his name to “Strives with God.”

As morning came and he anticipated his brother’s arrival, he held his head higher than ever before. He had seen God face to face, wrestled him even, and was still alive to tell about it. What need did he have to fear Esau when God Almighty was on his side?

When Esau and his 400 comrades crossed the horizon, Jacob slowly began to approach him, bowing in humility every so often to hopefully show his remorse, his repentance. As he raised from his last bow he saw his brother running at him with joyful tears streaming down his eyes. They had a long, wet embrace as they wept together. 

He later told Esau that seeing his face was like seeing the face of God. He rightfully deserved to suffer at the hands of Esau. He had not loved him as a brother. He had wronged him as an enemy. He stole both his birthright and blessing, the two most valuable things to the firstborn brother. Yet in spite of these wretched wrongs, Esau met him with grace, with an embrace. So Esau’s face, his response was like the face of God. Jacob had also rebelled against God. He had deserved death and destruction from God. God had wrapped him in an wrestling embrace and in the end, He too had given the undeserved blessing of grace. As he limped the rest of his days, he remembered the day when he had received two helpings of undeserved grace. 

Schedules, Debit Cards, and Fun Parks

My classes were supposed to start again last week. I was optimistic and went to the university on the starting date to find a schedule. To my surprise there were actually schedules posted. Yes, there were schedules posted for every level except mine. I asked around and discovered that my level class would only be held on weekends. They didn’t have a time set yet for the weekend classes but I could come back a few days later to discover the schedule. Yes, I have nothing better to do with my time than to  trek back and forth to the university a couple times a week. 

I handled the disorganization and fruitlessness of my trip rather well. This was in addition to some debit card stress so I felt like I was doing well. Before heading to the university, I tried to use my debit card to withdraw some money. I got an error message saying I had exceeded my withdrawal limit for the day. I tried a lower amount and still did not receive any money. On a positive note, I did get my card back. I always breathe a sigh of relief after my card is returned to me after the time it was captured. 

I decided to try another ATM at a different bank, then another, then another. I tried 6 different ATMs with 6 different banks and each time received the same message. In spite of all of this, I kept a cool head, didn’t really feel stressed and moved on with my day. 

My friend suggested I call my bank in America and see if they knew what was going on. When I got home, I did just that. After 30 minutes talking with some kind and patient customer service reps, they concluded that they had no idea why it didn’t work. I was faced with 2 options. I could either try the card in a store or have them send me a new card. If it didn’t work at the store, there was a problem with my card and I would need a new one. I decided to go that route just to make sure I didn’t need a new card. I used it without a problem. That was when I broke. I went home and had a good cry about it all. Everything. I cried about my classes, my friends leaving, my card. I was frustrated that I still had no idea why the ATM would not give me money. After the cry, I asked that God would just take care of it and that tomorrow the card would work. The next day I tried to use it a couple times and it worked each time. He took care of it. I still don’t know why it didn’t work but I’m thankful to once again have access to my money.

I’ve grown a lot in my flexibility over these past few years. I can roll with the unexpected and unplanned punches much easier than my 30 year old self could. In spite of this growth, there are still times when cancelled plans make me feel over the top stressed. That happened one day a few weeks ago. My afternoon plans were unexpectedly cancelled. A knot developed in my stomach that told me I was feeling some major stress. Then as quickly as the plans were changed, they were reinstated and the stress knot left almost as quickly. Stress is a weird thing. 

I traveled back to the university to check on my class schedule. I found the sign pictured below. It says classes will be held on Saturday and Sunday starting at 9:05 am in a room in another part of the campus. How long will they last? I have no idea. Who will teach us? I have no idea. Why were we meeting in a different building? Again, I have no idea. 

The trip wasn’t wasted because I ran into Harry and Shelly. It was so good to see my friends. I had not spent time with them in two months and it was a joy to catch up with them. They are thinking of moving to another city to start university classes. I told them I did not give my permission. I think they will go anyway. 

The following day our language classes began again. I arrived at the university five minutes before class was to start. The doors nearest my designated classroom were still locked. I entered through the main entrance and the security guard was suspiciously eyeing me wondering why I was there. I explained about the class and he let me pass. A few minutes later Mr. A came. He explained that the teachers were taking turns doing the weekend classes. I asked if he knew was coming the following day and he shrugged and said it’s a surprise. Only a handful of students came so we moved from the big auditorium to our normal class location. Having Mr. A as a teacher and only 6 other students in class, I was beginning to like this weekend class thing. 

At a halfway point, he gave us a tea break. Harry, Shelly and I went on a hunt for some snacks with Mr. A quickly on our tail. Our normal cafe in the library was closed. Mr. A seemed shocked that tea was not readily available. We discovered a couple of the nearest tea providing locations were also closed. We ventured over to the heart of campus to the little market. It was also closed. Mr. A gave an exasperated laugh. We finally found a small restaurant selling tea. Mr. A was quite relieved at this discovery. I was amused by the whole thing. I saw this video that went along with that experience. Breakfast without tea is no breakfast at all in these parts. Heck, a day without tea is unthinkable much less at breakfast. 

One day I came home and saw AB sitting in his perch at my complex with a woman. He waved for me to come say hi. It was his wife. It thrilled me so much to meet her. If you remember, he is Princess’ dad. His wife and Princess favor each other. I was hoping for a picture of them but my guests arrived before I had a chance to take it. 

I celebrated a "nephew's" birthday party recently. A portion of his birthday party was spent at a fun park. It was my first time going and I had lots of fun. 

Climbing nets and giant slides

More climbing nets

A view from close to the top

A Fun Birthday Party

Birthday Party

I met Kadie back in October when my art class first began. She was a quiet gal but had a peaceful presence about her. I discovered that she didn’t like tea but endured a glass each day so as to not be rude in this tea consuming culture. It made me feel good to know that I could get by with drinking only one glass as well. 

Marty was also in my class and I could tell they were good friends. They were always kind to me but a little stand-offish as well. One day I took some fajitas to class so everyone could try something new. They hesitantly took bites until someone was brave enough to make sure I had not used pig meat in the meal. Pork is forbidden in this culture. I replied that I respected them and would never do something like that. After that it was like they all took a collective sigh and relaxed a little. 

The following week, Marty commented that he had never actually met a foreigner before. He saw foreigners and thought they were strange until he met me. He said maybe foreigners aren’t so strange after all. That day, our relationship shifted. I went from being the weird outsider to a colleague. Kadie and Marty began taking pictures with me and telling me I could keep the pictures to remember them. I mentioned a few times that we should get together outside of class so they could practice English. They didn’t seem too keen on it for a while. Eventually Kadie said that if I was free one day, we could go check out a museum together but we didn’t make any plans. On our last day of class, they began to tease me for the way I say “normal.” It’s written the same in both languages but apparently I pronounce it with a funny accent. They said they loved it when I said that word. 

Our semester ended and we went our separate ways. Kadie and I texted each other regularly making sure to use the word “normal.” A new semester of classes began and Kadie and Marty decided to not continue with the course. They did stop by one day to pick up their certificates. Certificates are really important to people. I don’t know that it really serves a purpose but the locals sure like to say they have a certificate. Another odd note on certificates is that I discovered it had my parents’ names on it. I had know idea they even knew my parents names but remembered they are on my identity card which I used to register for the class. Who your parents are matters here.

I digress. On the certificate giving day, Kadie and I again talked about making a plan together. She was usually free during my art class but I was not. I finally suggested we get together on a weekend. She agreed it was a good idea. When I had an available weekend, I sent a message asking if she was free. She said she was just about to send me a message when I sent mine. She wondered if I’d like to come celebrate her birthday with her relatives. If I didn’t want to we could meet earlier in the day. I had no idea it was her birthday but of course I wanted to join in and told her so. She was so excited that I wanted to come celebrate. She said usually she invites friends but they don’t come. I was also excited that she wanted me to be a part of something so intimate. 

I arrived at her house and her family was incredibly hospitable. I felt at home amongst these strangers. They discovered that I am considerably more wealthy than them but they didn’t judge me or treat me better or worse because of it. I have heard that new guests usually are given the choicest seat in the house and usually that is the seat furthest from the door. I was actually sat closest to the door but also closest to the coal-burning stove. I think perhaps in that case, I was in the best seat. Her dad fussed all night wondering if I was warm enough. I was. It was hot. 

As I sat and chatted, relative after relative kept coming in. I noticed that all the in-law women sat on one side of the room. The men and her grandma sat in another area. The kids ran around and acted like normal crazy kids. Kadie blew out the candles on the cake then proceeded to serve us all. We also had some cookies to go with the giant slices of cake. After cake, we chatted some more and she opened a few presents. She got a pair of socks, a bracelet, and a kitchen spoon set. Some folks decided it was getting late and they should leave. Her parents insisted they eat fruit first.  Fruit is the traditional last thing served to indicate the evening is drawing to a close. The relatives stayed and we sat on the floor eating fruit, nuts, and spicy bulgur patties. 

As we sat I noticed that all of Kadie’s female relatives were covered except for her. Her family tried to get me to stay the night. They said that I’m their daughter now and that I can come over any time I want. They said they intend to take me to several weddings and to their village. By the time the party ended around 11pm, there were no buses running and I was far from home. Kadie’s uncle volunteered to take me home in his car. So a bunch of us piled in the car. Seven to be exact. Kadie and her mom agreed to ride along to make sure I arrived home safely. Kadie sat in her mom’s lap with her head bent over in a 90 degree angle. These are all of the sweet things that endear me to these people. She didn’t have to go with me but this culture does everything in community.

Since the party, we have been messaging back and forth about when to hang out again. She wants me to skip art class one day to hang with her. I think I will. She surprised me by coming to art class the other day. I was so happy to see her. She invited me to her cousin’s birthday party this week but I was unavailable to go. I look forward to deepening this relationship over the coming months. 

My birthday card to her

Her cake

Everyone wears slippers inside the house.
They bought this new pair in honor of
my visit.

Kadie and her folks

Kadie and I

Fruit on the floor

Goodbye and Grief

Recently, one of the families who lived and labored in this place told me they felt led to move back to America. They had been praying about this decision for a while and I had been bracing for the worst but hoping for the best. There was much to grieve in their decision to leave. Anyone who has met this family knows they are of the best quality. Everyone around them feels abundantly loved and cared for. They’re just easy to be around. Not only that, I live in a Muslim country. With the departure of this family, it leaves only one other English-speaking, like-minded family who can encourage me. It leaves a total of 4 other following adults in this whole city of 200,000 people. I think that is a reality that is hard for most Americans to wrap their minds around. I often feel isolated and this will only deepen the isolation. Like I said, there is much to grieve. 

We said goodbye to this family not long ago. I remember on the day of their departure feeling like I was attending a funeral. It felt like a death of sorts. As I watched them drive away, I thought, “That’s it, they’re not coming back. Now we have to get used to a new normal, a normal without their presence in this city. Like the death of a loved one, I suspect that the waves of grief due to their absence will continue to catch me off guard for a while. Our lives have been so intertwined this past year that it’s hard to not feel some ripping. I think this is a testimony to the goodness they have brought to myself and the remaining family. If they were sorry friends, we would be happy to see them go. As I read elsewhere this week, “Some friends imprint themselves so deeply on our souls they leave a fingerprint. - Friends scatter grace through the ins and outs of weeks. And [these friends], in particular, had been full of those daily graces that infuse joy into the routine of daily living. How do you say goodbye to a friend like that?” -Tina Boesch

During this season, it has been a neat opportunity to lean even deeper into the Father, to lay every feeling, emotion, and tear at His feet. I’ve spent time begging Him for answers as to why it must be this way. He hasn’t answered my questions specifically but He has been reminding me of much truth and rewarding me with His comfort and presence. 

He has reminded me that trials come to fire a faith worth more than gold. Worth more than gold? In other words, he wants to make our faith more valuable than anything on earth. He wants to burn away the remaining bits of straw and hay that remain in our hearts. He wants us to be whole and he is willing to make us squeal, squirm, and scream as he burns away the unholy parts. Fire makes us stronger. 

He wants to give us more of Himself. Because this family has left, it means that I now have more reason to run to God rather than to others. And what a glorious reward, more of God instead of more of man? I’ll take His nearness any day. 

He has reminded that He likes to work with small numbers to accomplish His tasks so that He is the one who gets glory. Part of my frustration has been wondering how this furthers His plans and purposes in this place. Then He reminds me of how Gideon’s army was decreased from 32,000 to 300. He reminds me that the best and most fruit comes from when a bush is pruned to almost nothing. He reminds me that in the “deaths” of seeds, life comes. 

When I lock eyes with Him, when my ears are pressed tightly to His heart straining to hear, He whispers:

I promised the way would be hard. AND that I would be WITH you. 

Do you think I’m wringing My hands in worry, wondering how on earth I can recover from this? I cannot be shaken. I reign. Do you think anything has taken me by surprise? Do you think I’m scrambling to figure out how I will now manage?

Do you think I don’t see you? Have I ever once in your life left you abandoned? Do you think I’m resting, taking a break, forgetting about you? Am I not trustworthy? I gave my Son but somehow now my faithfulness is fragile?

Where is your hope? Is your hope in this other family or Me? Putting your weight on humans is silly. Humanity is fragile. Man can die at any point. Only I am constant. You say I am enough for you. If this is true, why are you fretful? Why are you anxious? Why are you not resting? If you anchor yourself to Me, tie yourself to Me, remain in Me, every single believer could leave and I will remain, I will be enough. 

Envision the My throne at the end of all time. All things will make sense and if it makes sense in the end, you can worship in the pain. One day you will look back and understand and realize this is but light and momentary.

My leaving friend gave me one of her favorite plants. She was broken at having to let something go that had brought her much joy. She commented on how there was even new growth on the plant. It seemed like a metaphor. She was passing on her labors to me. Fruit would come because she had lived here and because I continue to live here. 

We sent this family off with many prayers and tears, trusting the Father through it all, and eager to see what He does with them next. Our hearts are broken that they are no longer doing life with us but it’s comforting to know that out of everyone in the whole world, they understand my life more than anyone else. They are dearly loved and will always hold a special place in my heart. My friend prayed this for them just before they drove away, “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.” 

I’m still sad but I’m grateful to have a trustworthy Father. I’m eager to see how He fills their void with His faithfulness. I’m eager to see how he brings fruit from the pruning. 

Canyon, Crying Cake, & Chinese Food

In the midst of a hard week, the Father sent two like-minded single ladies my way for a visit. They live in another place with a few more followers but still a pretty isolated place. We spent two days of encouraging each other and bearing each others sorrows. While they were here, they pointed out all the ways they saw the Father providing for me through locals. They pointed out things like the couple at the pazar who picks out all of the choicest fruits for me, or AB, my Central Asian grandpa, or my neighbor Violet, who brings me “crying cake.” The cake is so named because it looks like the chocolate is crying. 

The three of us went to explore “the world’s second largest canyon.” This delineation comes from locals and I have yet to find an outside source agree with them. Nonetheless, the canyon was very large and it was a nice, peaceful place, away from the noise, pollution, and people in the city. 

The glass terrace overlooking the canyon

This had what looked like defense walls. Can you imagine
how safe this hill was? Dwellers could be ready to defend
both as attackers came down into the canyon and then
climbed up that hill. 

There were signs and references to a nearby ancient city. We drove around trying to find the place. The GPS navigation eventually took us to a garbage dump. We then asked a guy for directions and never found the place. What we did find was the road that wound it’s way around the base of the canyon. We were happy to make that discovery.

Inside the canyon

After exploring the canyon, we tried out a restaurant called Peppermints. They have menu items with names of things we eat in America. I had tried their burger before and liked it but I was feeling adventurous. We ordered the chicken nachos as an appetizer, not sure what we would receive. They had both tried nachos at another place and were surprised to find Doritos for the chips. As you can see in the picture below, our version had baked tortillas :) except there were only 5 total chips. :( The cheese consisted of 2 slices of “burger cheese.” We each ordered the New York strip steak and were pleasantly surprised. It was nice to have them to do things with. I rarely have a chance to go out to eat with a friend. 

If you remember, I hired a cleaning lady. I have learned that she quit school after 5th grade and has only been out of this city once or twice for doctor visits. Traveling is too expensive for her family of 5. Since her education ended early, she doesn’t really know how to read. I also think she doesn’t know what the world map is. I have a painting in my house and each week, I have found the map incorrectly placed. Once it was upside down, the other time it was on it’s side. It makes me incredibly thankful for the privilege of education I have had. 

I hung out with my friend DG one night. I’m so thankful for her and how easy she is to be around. I told her so that night. We went to a cafe. This was my second time in 3 days to go eat at a restaurant with a friend. I saw “Chinese sweet and sour chicken” on the menu and wondered if I should brave trying it. I decided to go for it. I wouldn’t say that it tasted like sweet and sour chicken as we know it, but it definitely tasted like something I’d get at a Chinese buffet in America. I was happy that I now have a Chinese food option in this city! The cafe was named Harrison’s and had a picture of a familiar looking guy. I couldn’t place him but finally realized it was Benjamin Harrison, our 23rd president. Interesting. 

One day in art class, my friends commented on how much they love me and talk about me to their families. It’s always a little awkward and I’m not sure what to do with it. I have only known them a week. Anyway they said I’m not like most Americans. I asked if they had met other Americans. They had not but was going off of the movies they have watched. They meant that I seem moral, I respect my parents, I respect them, I dress modestly. I explained that movies don’t typically depict real American life. 

Some of my local friends know that I have said goodbye to a deep friendship this week. It was sweet how Ellen and Kadie both commented that although my friends have left, I have them. Anytime I want, I am welcome to spend time with them. Kadie even invited me to her birthday party with her family. I counted it a privilege.

One day I was coming home from the pazar. I saw Grandma F and her house helper taking a rest before walking home. I chatted with them a bit when a neighbor I had never met walked up. We chatted together before walking home together. On our walk home, I met my upstairs neighbor. It felt like I was finally becoming part of the neighborhood as I chatted with 3 separate neighbors at one time.