Advent Thoughts 2016

J and I decorated for Christmas. It’s only a week away but it’s hard to feel like it’s actually so close. No one here decorates. There are no Christmas lights, no Santas in the malls, no hustle and bustle, no holiday parties. Everyone around us is oblivious to the holiday that seems so central to our lives. In some ways it feels like we’re having an Invisible Christmas. On a plus side, we don’t have to fight crowds while shopping for Christmas gifts. We don’t have all of the hustle and bustle which leaves more time to think on Immanuel. 

Taking time to pause and wonder at our Lord’s first coming and wait in expectation for his second coming has been refreshing. It truly is a mysterious and beautiful thing that He came to us. The old carol says, “Pleased as man with men to dwell” and “Mild he lays his glory by.” I was struck again this week by the scandal that God would take on flesh as I talked with my new friend Sherry. She adamantly informed me that God could not be created, could not be born, and definitely could not be human. While talking with her I began to marvel yet again that God did in fact do the unthinkable in taking on flesh. She helped me to see anew the transcendence, holiness, and otherness of God. She helped me to remember that he is unrivaled. She has missed his immanence though and in missing it, she has missed the prize, Immanuel. She also helped me worship anew that God is both transcendent and immanent, both holy and WITH US. 

During this advent season, I’ve been reading an advent devotional called ‘Let Every Heart Prepare Him Room’ by Nancy Guthrie. One day focused on the song ‘O Little Town of Bethlehem.’ “While mortals sleep the angels keep their watch of wondering love. O morning stars together, proclaim the holy birth...” The author said, “This helps us see what is unseen - all of heaven bending down to see what God was doing as he brought Jesus into this world. The angels looked on in awe and wonder, helping us to see the wonder of it all.”

What was their song? “GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST,” and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased.” Perhaps the angels were looking into a relationship that they were not privy to. They were servants in his kingdom but they have not been made part of the family as we have. They could have wondered why God would come to earth to save us. They could have tried to prevent God from doing something so disastrous but instead their response was absolute worship at his plan. A SAVIOR has come! For this we give glory to God in the highest!  

I have been thinking on the angels singing to the shepherds in a new way. It has always been just a part of the story I have heard since I was a child. This year I have been pondering their part in the story. Why did they come to the shepherds? What did the host of praising sound like? Did people from miles around hear this beautiful praising or was it for the shepherds' ears only? Why did a host show up after the news? Why was worship their response? When I perceive that God is doing something that seems disastrous, how can I be like the angels? I, too, should worship my God because He knows exactly what He is doing.

From this devotional, I have also been meditating on Mary. She was given the greatest privilege of any living human, carrying the Son of God. She could have been prideful and yet instead she magnified God. Guthrie said, “We magnify him by having higher, larger, and truer thoughts of him. We magnify him by praising him and telling others about his greatness so they can have bigger thoughts about him too. - Sometimes we wonder why we aren’t happy, why we make sinful choices, why we feel distant from God. Often it’s because we have small thoughts about God and magnified thoughts of ourselves, our wants, our rights, our accomplishments. Mary, the one God chose to be the mother of his Son, could have easily allowed her thoughts of herself to become larger, even prideful. But instead of magnifying herself, she magnified the Lord.”

I have wondered about sins that I continue to struggle with. Why do they still plague me? This helped me realize that I still struggle with one sin in particular because I want to be magnified. I want just a little glory for myself. I want just for a minute to be elevated. May God help me to destroy this wicked idolatry and help me magnify him, the One deserving of all glory. 

Guthrie went on to say, “God chooses to use simple, ordinary things and people so that he is the one who gets all the glory. Child of Bethlehem, we are grateful to know that you came to ordinary people in an ordinary place, because we are ordinary.”

He didn’t come for the righteous or the ones who have it together. I’m eternally grateful that he came for the sick and broken ones like me. And somehow He works through my brokenness, shining his glory. 

I have always loved the song, ‘Hark the Herald Angels Sing.’ There is so much richness in the song. Some of my favorite lines are:

God and sinners reconciled!

Christ, by highest heaven adored

Veiled in flesh the Godhead see

Pleased as Man with men to dwell

Mild He lays his glory by

Born that man no more may die

I was joyed to find these additional two verses, equally filled with rich truth. 

Come, Desire of Nations, come,

Fix in Us thy humble Home,

Rise, the Woman's Conqu'ring Seed,

Bruise in Us the Serpent's Head.

Now display thy saving Pow'r,

Ruin'd Nature now restore,

Now in Mystic Union join

Thine to Ours, and Ours to Thine.

Adam's likeness, Lord, efface,

Stamp Thine image in its place:

Second Adam from above,

Reinstate us in Thy love.

Let us Thee, though lost, regain,

Thee, the Life, the inner man:

O, to all Thyself impart,

Formed in each believing heart.

A Week in the Life Episode 9

We celebrated Thanksgiving. We were small in number but our feast was great. We were even blessed to have some ham thanks to my mom who lugged a ham here big enough to feed 40 people. We only ate a small portion and will have some more throughout the year.

So much of my life consists in drinking tea. When I first came, I had to add 3 sugar cubes to a small glass just to get it down. I slowly went from 3 to 2, from 2 to 1, and within the past few weeks went from 1 to 0. I’m still not a huge fan and don’t ever just crave a glass of tea but I do like it especially during these cold days. I’m also becoming like the locals around me and realizing that local breakfast is not local breakfast without at least one glass of tea. 

This place is changing me, making me more relaxed. My friend and I are taking a vacation to Europe soon. We booked our hotels two weeks before we were to leave. Who am I?!?! This hard core rule follower is also learning the local way of taking rules as suggestions. There is a pretty major road construction site by my house. I’ve been joining the other locals in walking across the site to get to the other side of the road. Recently I was at an airport and the security people flagged my bottle of water after I had made it through the scanner. I asked the worker if I needed to go back through security to dump out the water. He told me I could dump it out in the bathroom before boarding the plane. I did not. 

While I was flying from that small airport, I experienced some culture shock. Lots of family members usually come to the airport with whomever is flying out and wait with them until the last minute. Because of this, as I was trying to get in the front door, there were lines of family members trying to pass through the initial security doors. Many of these were old teyzes  and amcas (older women and men) standing in the way trying to figure out what to do. More seasoned travelers were cutting in front of them. Two to three would walk through the security scanner without giving the workers time to pat down the ones who beeped. People were pushing and shoving. By the time I made it to the other side to retrieve my things, half of them had fallen on the ground. 

I went to check in. On these cheap domestic flights, a person is allowed one checked bag weighing just under 30 pounds. The couple in front of me had a total of 3 bags with a combined weight of about 130 pounds. That’s 70 pounds over what they were allowed. Poor folks. I was able to get checked in while they were still trying to figure out what to do.

I sat waiting in an almost empty gate until they called for boarding. The place filled up fast. I saw people start lining up and I joined in a little later. I noticed that two separate flights were boarding at the same door. It was very confusing and I wonder how often someone ends up on the wrong plane. I'm glad I understand the language and could verify I was in fact on the correct shuttle to the correct plane. Sheesh! What an adventure. 

Harmful Bananas, No Electricity, & Signed Forms

There are bananas like we buy from home here but they are imported and usually a lot more expensive. There are also local bananas that are usually much smaller and cheaper than what we are used too. They come in giant bunches with easily 20 bananas per bunch. Being a single person and knowing I could never eat that many, I have generally shied away from the local bananas not knowing how to only buy a few bananas. One day I was at a market and there were only local bananas. Feeling confident in my Turkish I decided to ask if I could buy half a bunch. I pointed at a nice semi-green bunch since I like mine a little crunchy. The shop owner said the yellow bunch with brown spots had the same taste and I should get those instead. I explained I wanted the newer ones. He leaned close and raised his voice stating both bunches tasted the same. He proceeded to open a yellow one and made me taste it. I told him that yes, it tasted fine but it was too soft for me. He proceeded to continuously raise his voice while telling me the green ones were harmful for me. He likened me eating green bananas to a man who smokes cigarettes. He said I was willfully harming my body by eating the green ones. I told him I would still prefer the green ones. Clearly aggravated with me, he cut off five or so for me and let me go. I haven't yet bought bananas there again. I don't feel up to any more scolding just yet. 

This fall has been a whirlwind of busyness. I found out in September that I needed to move apartments. That produced several weeks of apartment hunting and a couple weeks of packing and unpacking. The day after I got the bulk of my things unpacked, I hosted guests for a week. The day after they left, my new roommate came. I helped her get settled in and buy some bedroom furniture. I had about a week to barely catch my breath while also preparing for my mom and sister to come. They arrived and I became sick. I hosted them and traveled around with them for two weeks. I returned home to try to recover from an upper respiratory infection. That was the week of Thanksgiving and included some travel. I spent that whole week at home. I was still feeling bad but needed to help my roommate get forms for her residence permit application since I was leaving again at the end of the week for a week to do a language intensive. 

She was at school one day and I decided that my still sick body needed rest and I was going to stay in bed all day. I had been watching something on my iPad when the internet cut out. They're doing a lot of road work near my home so I assumed it was from the road work. I fell asleep and woke up to find it was still out. I had also just ran out of data on my phone but couldn't add money to my phone since I couldn't access the internet from my phone or computer. Great. It occurred to me to see if I had electricity. I did not. I decided to check the stairwell to see if everyone was without electricity or just me. I had been meaning to ask about my electric bill because I never found one for that month. Having newly moved here I wasn’t sure when the payment was due either. I began to wonder if mine had been shut off for lack of payment. To my chagrin I learned that my fears were realized and my electricity had indeed been shut off. 

With regret I left my bed to go take care of adult things I had been neglecting. My landlord helped me find my electricity account number so I could pay this bill. I first stopped by a small market and added money to my phone. I paid my electric bill and learned they would turn it back on that same day. 

Electric shut off notification

Since I was out I decided to withdraw money from my American bank account so I could deposit it into my local account and pay for bills. I also wanted to make sure I signed up for automatic electric payments while at the bank. Before walking to the bank I decided to check my American balance to make sure I had enough money to withdraw. I had $7.42. I was not winning at life that day. I called my friend and she laughed with me knowing that I am usually on top of things like electric bills. 

I had mentioned that I was helping my roommate get forms for her residence permit. The final form needed was a rental contract with her name in it. Since I signed the lease before she came, ours only had my name on it. My landlord has been a hands off type landlord and has been uneasy at times about me being there since I'm a foreigner. Because of this we decided to see if there was a way to take care of the form without her. 

We learned from the permit website that we could get an official letter from a notary saying J lives with me. J and I went to a notary but the guy wouldn't notarize a paper for us. He said he wasn't sure it would work. I showed him the website that said it would but he insisted he wouldn't do it unless I took it to the immigration office and asked. We argued for a while but eventually I realized he was trying to save us about $60 in the event it wouldn't work. I imagine he kept saying under his breath, "stupid foreigners." He suggested we either ask about the letter at the immigration office or else see if my landlord would just add her name to the contract. 

While I was getting my electricity account number I asked my landlord if we could add Jenni's name. Her husband was with her and he agreed they could. When J came home we joined them for some coffee while we took care of business. They wondered if legally they could add a name or else if we should just do a new contract. They called a lawyer who said it was forbidden to add a name to the contract. The lawyer said we could go to the census office and get a signed form with my address from them saying J lives with me. I told them I didn’t think they won't give me anything because J doesn't have a local ID card. No, they assured me, it wouldn't be a problem. 

We got up early the next morning to beat the crowds. I felt stressed about the ordeal and began to sweat a little remembering another uncomfortable hour spent in that building with my now friend, the director of immigration. I wondered if I shouldn't just call him instead. Getting up early had paid off and we only had to wait five minutes. As I thought, they would not give us anything since she didn't have an ID card. They suggested I go see the immigration director, my friend, to resolve this problem. 

Due to a variety of factors, I ended up calling my friend around 7pm on his personal cell phone. This kind of cultural thing is still strange and fascinating to me. He said I could come over the following morning to his other work location, the place where residence permits are applied for. 

We arrived the following morning and he gave us a friendly welcome. After a few pleasantries I explained our dilemma. He looked at me and explained it was a simple problem that could easily be rectified. He had worried I had a serious problem that he would not be able to help with. He asked why I had not come to him first. He said I needed a paper with my address on it from the census office and he would write on there that she lived with me and sign it himself. We chatted amiably with him for a while before I realized I had the needed paper with me. He signed the form and then whisked us into an office to complete J's application. We didn't even have to schedule an appointment. I'm thankful for the sweaty situation that landed him as my friend!

Family Time

I took my mom and sister to a nearby city. The area contains Laodicea, Colossae, Hierapolis, the Cotton Castle, and hotels with thermal waters. We stayed at one of the thermal hotels. On our first afternoon we visited the ruins of Laodicea. After all that walking, we went back to our hotel and ate dinner before soaking in the thermal waters. We stayed in a big hotel but there were only enough guests there to fill about 4 rooms. It was kind of nice and quiet but also a eerily quiet. Normally the hotel has an open buffet for breakfast and dinner but since there were so few of us, they had prepared a single dish with lots of sides. Our kind server’s name was Ibrahim. At one point he asked if we were English. I affirmed this before I realized he meant our nationality rather than our language. I didn’t correct him. With our recent election news, everybody here has been scolding me about our new president-elect. I was tired of being asked about him so I went with the English thing. 

Mom carrying bags to the hotel

There were sun rays for hours

My mom looking like an angel in the sun rays

Laodicea

After dinner we went to the outdoor thermal pool. It felt so nice to be out in that cozy warm water on a cool November night. The waters are said to have healing powers especially for bronchial infections. I was hoping the waters did me good but when I woke up feeling worse the following morning I realize I had probably chosen wrong. 

We went to breakfast the next morning and found Ibrahim serving us again. He kept asking us about a famous English magician and was surprised we did not know who he was. I continued to go along with the English game. We all got pretty tickled about this. 

Since I woke up feeling not well, my mom and sister insisted that we skip the Cotton Castle and stay put at the hotel. I pointed out that we had no lunch options so we needed to get a taxi to that area in order to eat lunch. I said they could look around the travertine cliffs while I sat and read my book. We went to a Japanese place for lunch, which was a treat for me. After lunch we stopped by the clinic and pharmacy where I was given an allergy diagnosis. 

We went to the Cotton Castle and I read while they explored. When we returned to the hotel, we saw several tour buses in the parking lot and found the hotel more lively. We had some dinner at the open buffet. Ibrahim continued to make sure we were taken care of. He joked that he was going to find one of us a husband. I couldn’t figure out which one of us he meant. After dinner I decided to get a massage to see if that could help abate some of my allergies illness. I then returned to our room and turned in early. 

When I woke up feverish, with an aching throat, and feeling overall awful. I suggested we try to just go home instead of heading to our next destination. In the end we decided to stick with our initial plan. In that plan we decided to stop by the clinic, before heading out, to see the doctor again. I discovered that Tuesdays are the doctor’s day off. What?!? Then why was the clinic open?!? I decided to see if I could find a clinic at our next destination. 

We boarded our bus and made the 3.5 hour trek to the new city. We arrived at the hotel and I was greeted once again by Emre, one of the most hospitable people I have ever met. He was just as nice as before. I reminded him that I had stayed there before and he realized that he recognized me from before.

We dropped off our bags and Emre told us where we could get some lunch. While eating lunch I asked our server if there was a clinic nearby. He said it was far and would be hard for me to find. He said there was a hospital nearby. If you are sick, you typically see a doctor at either a clinic or else the hospital. I had no desire to go try to figure out the hospital system and wait a while to be seen. So after I put my mom and sister safely into a taxi to Ephesus, I walked back to our hotel and slept. 

Their first solo taxi ride

They returned and I had no desire to get back out in the cold and walk to a place to eat dinner. I checked the online food delivery site to see what was available. I was surprised to see McDonalds as an option. I was never a fan of McD’s in the States but I haven’t had any in probably a year. I put in our orders wondering if it was too good to be true. After I got the confirmation email, I went to tell Emre to be expecting someone and to ask him about some things for our room. While I was talking to him the McDonald’s delivery guy called to get a better idea of where the hotel was located. I handed the phone to Emre’s cousin, Barış. After a few seconds of confusion, I realized that I had ordered food from a McDonald’s six hours away. Oops and bummer! I told Emre that I was sick and didn’t want to have to get out to get food and wondered if they knew of any deliveries. He suggested pizza. He explained that it is no first rate kind of pizza like Dominos but they like it. He proceeded to call in an order for us. Nice and easy, just the way I like it. 

The next morning we ate breakfast on the terrace outside. Barış brought out a heater and sat it right beside us to keep us warm as we ate. After breakfast I asked if we could leave our bags at the hotel since our train didn’t leave for another 4 hours. Emre said we could and to leave them outside our room leaving the heavy carrying work to him. He also said he would take us to the train station when it was time. What a chap!

We walked up to see St. John’s Church. Then we explored downtown a bit. We stopped into the Dragon restaurant to see my friend Mehmet again and eat his delicious food. He wasn’t there but I met his wife. She heard me coughing and had her son bring me a concoction of a natural cough remedy. It consisted of honey, ginger, and some other spices. Mehmet came by for a few minutes. It was good to see him again. By the end of the meal, I was still coughing. The mom sternly told me to put my cold drink down because it was causing the cough. She brought me some hot water and told me to stir some of the honey mixture into the water. 

Honey ginger mixture

After lunch, we walked back to the hotel to get our bags. Emre was on his way out but said that Barış would help us get to the train station. I confess I was a little disappointed when a taxi pulled up. I was grateful they had arranged transportation for us but a little disappointed that it wasn’t as personalized as before. When we pulled up to the train station I asked for the taxi fare. They driver said it had been taken care of. How sweet! Emre and Barış did not disappoint in the end. 

We boarded the train. By the time we got all our bags on, we had missed our chances for getting a seat. I hadn’t seen that one coming. I was pretty frustrated mostly because I was feeling so bad. About halfway through the hour long trip, two seats had opened up for my mom and sister and a man gave up his seat for me. I was grateful yet again for the kindness and hospitality of strangers. 

After some dinner and tears, I sent my mom and sister off. Their time went by so so fast but I was grateful for their visit. 

Other trip photos: 

My sister meeting some fellow pharmacy workers.

Visiting CFS at the furniture store

CFS!

An Extended Illness

Some friends of mine came over one night for dinner. One guest was sick and I told her she could lay down in my bed. Not wanting to get her germs I washed all of my bedding after she left. Despite my efforts I awoke the following morning with a sore throat. I hoped it was a quickly passing thing because I was supposed to be leaving the following morning to meet my mom and sister at the airport. I drank some tea and took a nap before heading out to see some people and run some errands. 

I was bummed to wake up the following morning still having a sore throat. I thought if I’m going to be sick, a sore throat and a runny nose is the least inconvenient and I can still meet my mom and sister at the airport. I got up and realized the sun was rising so I ran to the kitchen to take a picture. In those few seconds, I realized that I REALLY needed to go to the bathroom. My stomach started feeling yucky so after a shower I laid back down. I decided to go ahead and take some medicine so I wouldn’t have any accidents on the 3 hour bus ride ahead of me. While laying there, my stomach started cramping really bad. After vomiting for the first time I realized I had something much worse than a sore throat. 

I found out that my sick friend had had the same symptoms and only threw up once. After that she was back to good. I was hopeful that this would be the case and I could still meet my family at the airport. I was able to talk to them and give them a heads up that I might not be able to meet them at the airport. We had all planned on staying at the airport hotel together so they could stay there and get some rest and we could regroup the next day if not. I tried to call and switch my 11:30 bus ticket to a later one. I had planned to go to the big city early to do some shopping before my family arrived. The bus company said I would have to go to the bus station to switch the ticket. I still felt awful and the $10 was not worth it to me to make that trip. 

I laid back down and slept some more and woke up feeling worse. I spent most of that day in bed or the bathroom. I was pretty bummed that I would not be there to welcome my mom and sister with a hug. I have some friends in the big city. One of them volunteered to pick my mom and sister up from the airport the next day and help them get on a bus to my city. The two of them got to experience a small taste of what life was like for me when I first arrived in my new country. No language on a bus ride, hoping they arrived at the correct destination. 

I think we were all very grateful to finally get to share hugs at the bus station when they arrived. We went back to my house and had some lunch and played a game. I was feeling better but still pretty weak. After a short nap, I gave them a quick tour of the downtown area where I live and we ate some dinner at one of my favorite places. 

I was feeling a lot better the next day but not 100%. I woke up to find that my sister had been throwing up in the night. Hers seemed to pass quicker than mine and we were able to get back out the following day to see some friends in the city. 

I had about a day of actually feeling good before my throat started bothering me again. This time it felt raw, I was losing my voice, and coughing a lot. I continued to feel poorly for several days, not awful. It came time for us to leave my city and see some of the cool places in my country. As we traveled, I started feeling worse. My cough started moving down into my chest, I started coughing up nasty things, and my throat was still hurting. We went to a clinic after lunch one day to see if I could get an antibiotic. The doctor did a quick checkup before declaring I had nothing more than allergies due to the changing weather/seasons. I tried to argue with him but he asserted it was nothing more than allergies. In his defense, I just happened upon the clinic and had not brushed up on my cold and flu terms. 

I woke up the next day with a fever and a very sore throat. Realizing I needed some rest and a second opinion, I discussed the option of cancelling our sightseeing plans and returning back to my city for a day or two. If we did that, it would mean them getting back on a bus to the big city by themselves and me missing out on more time and the airport goodbyes. We decided to stick with our original plan but letting them sightsee while I rested at the hotel. I think this was the right decision even though I think all of this probably delayed my recovery time.

I dropped them off at the airport and made it back to my city on a bus around midnight. I went to a new doctor in my city. He declared I had an upper respiratory infection and gave me an antibiotic and a nose spray to aid my recovery. When I was taking the tail end of my antibiotics, my throat started hurting pretty bad again and I had an eye infection and a nasty cough. I ended up going back to the doctor a few days later and he switched me to some allergy meds to try to flush out my congestion. I am now on week 5, and I am functioning at about 85%. My coughing has eased, I’m not spitting up green stuff anymore but I still have junk in my eye and my throat hurts off and on.I find the whole thing bizarre. Who gets a sore throat that leads to vomiting and eventually a crazy respiratory infection? And what a giant bummer that I was sick essentially the whole time my family was here and it has continued weeks after they left? I’m looking forward to a very near day when I am back to 100%.

A Month of Life - Day 31

Perhaps due to all of the sleep I got yesterday, today I woke up early. I had time to shower before my cleaning lady came. I got her started and then spent time in the Word. I kept getting interrupted but eventually finished my time. As I finished, the furniture store folks came to deliver the bed. Due to the large pieces, the guys had to carry it up 6 flights of stairs in 3 separate pieces. They left and my cleaning lady was so sweet to clean all the dust off the bed. She then made the bed with J’s new bedding and put everything away so when J came home, she would find a clean, complete, put together room. J was so excited to see her room. It was a good moment and made me proud of my cleaning lady. 

While she cleaned, I made cookies for her to try. She had seen me preparing them the previous week and asked about them. I also made some pumpkin chocolate chip bread to put away in the freezer for later opportunities. I sat and talked with her as she tried both sweets. After she left, I made some lunch, cleaned up from that, and filled out 3 different reports. 

Hannah, from art class, came to mind as I packaged up the pumpkin bread. I decided to shoot her a text to see if she was available for me to bring her some bread. I didn’t hear anything back from her. Then I called an electrician to come over and do some work. He said it would be a little while and he would call me when he was ready to come. I then pulled out the lights from my laundry/storage closet for him to install. I also cleaned out my laundry room and organized it a bit. It’s not a very functional space and it had been driving me crazy. Now it is at least somewhat usable. I also worked on more laundry during this time period. 

After that, I tried to visit my building manager to pay my monthly building fee but found no one at home. Then I went to the pharmacy to pick up something. I was heading to the curtain guy to finally have some curtains made for my actual windows. I've been using mismatched hand-me-downs for almost two years. On the way, the electrician called and said he was headed toward my house. I turned around and met him as he walked up to my building. He added a light to my hallway, changed out the fixtures in three other places, added a second light to my bathroom, and installed an outlet for my vent hood. 

After he left, I made some dinner. After eating, I tried to pay my building fee again and again found no one home. Since it was 7pm already, I decided to stop trying to see people and put my sweat pants back on. I spent the next 3 hours trying to file claims for dental work and medical things. It took me two and a half hours to figure out how to file the dental claim, to account for exchange rates, and what documents to submit. I think this was one of the more stressful things from the past week. Afterwards I submitted another medical claim and sent in a query for why a previous one was denied. After catching up on writing, I went to bed. 

I walked about .25 miles today.