God's Faithfulness and Other Thoughts

I recently had the chance to get away for a bit for a time of refreshing with some other expats. I wanted to write about some of the things that I learned during that time of reflection. 

Point #1

“We suffer from being suspicious of God, as if His faithfulness is brittle.” 

I’ve been chewing on this one for over a week now. How true it is in my life. Doesn’t it adequately explain my sin condition? “God’s holding out on me. God has abandoned or forgotten about me. Maybe this problem is too big for God. Maybe I need to try to fix it myself. If He really loved me, if He was really faithful, He wouldn’t have allowed _____ to happen or He would have given me _____.” I’m finding that all my worry, anxiousness, and dejectedness stems back to this root: God’s faithfulness is brittle. I mean, sure, He can die and then bring Himself back to life for my sake but this tiny issue is just too much for Him. When will I learn that if there is anyone who is faithful, anyone I can eliminate suspicion of, it’s God.

Point #2

“Merciful and Mighty”

A brother told of this truth. “Our God, He is both merciful and mighty,” he said. He continued, “Think of a father you know, who is both merciful and mighty. Everyone would agree that he is an excellent father. Now consider a father who is mighty but not merciful. You would not call him a good father. His children cower in fear of his might which lacks mercy. Now think of a father who is merciful but not mighty. Again, he would not be considered a good father. But our God, He is good, one who is both merciful and mighty. He is both the slain Lamb and the conquering Lion of Judah (Rv 5:5-6.)

Point #3

“God is at work.”

Another brother walked through Joseph’s story in Genesis 37-50. In Genesis 37, Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers. How can life get worse than becoming a slave by the hands of those who are supposed to have your back. In the midst of this horrifying trial, Joseph could not understand what God was doing. We, on the other hand, have the advantage of the whole story. Had Joseph have not been sold into slavery, he wouldn’t have lived in Egypt. If he had not lived in Egypt, Pharaoh would not have known to save 1/5 of the produce during the years of plenty. Egyptians and those from surrounding nations would have died because of the famine. More importantly, Jacob’s family would not have survived. God’s covenant to Abraham would have been broken. Additionally Jesus would not have been born since Judah’s line would have ceased to exist. God was evidently working out salvation for many through Joseph’s trial. 

Point #4

“The Lord was with him.”

Continuing in the book of Genesis. Joseph ended up in a decent gig for a servant, working in the home of a distinguished captain as the household overseer. Then his master’s wife decided she wanted Joseph. Day after day Joseph did the right thing in refusing her advances. She tried one last time. When he fled, she accused him of trying to seduce her. Life got worse for Joseph and he ended up in prison. What is interesting about this passage is that in verses 2,3,5,21,&23, it said something to the effect of “The Lord was with Joseph.” The bookends of this awful story proclaim that the Lord was with Joseph before the trial began and after it ended. We can only deduce that the Lord was with him in his struggle. After learning this, I thought of Zephaniah 3:17 which says, “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” I wondered if the song God sings over his people may sound something like this, “I am with you! I am with you! I love you! I am working! I am for you! I am with you!”

Point #5

“God’s battering ram of grace.”

In Genesis 42, the brother pointed out something I had not noticed before. This is the point in the story where Joseph’s brothers go to Egypt to seek out food and Joseph is now the 2nd highest in the land. In verse 18 Joseph makes the comment, “I fear God” and uses a word that in a land full of idols should have meant the Supreme God, or Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob’s God. Joseph's brothers should have recognized him by this statement but they were not following the Supreme God. 

Joseph told them that in order to get grain, one brother had to stay in Joseph’s custody and they had to bring their youngest brother, Benjamin, to him. Benjamin was Jacob’s second favorite son. Oh what agony the brothers must have experienced in this demand. It was pointed out that at times, God seemingly batters us with his grace. He sends us through difficult things to bring our sin to the surface and cause us to hate and repent of it. This is what he did for Joseph’s brothers. He does it for me too.

Point #6

“Death points to covenant fulfillment.”

As we wrapped up our time in Genesis, we made it to the last chapter, the crescendo of the book. Our brother explained that Moses' big finale for Genesis covered two deaths. Jacob died and Moses told of how the Egyptians embalmed him and mourned for him for 70 days. He also told of Jacob’s request to be returned to his homeland. Moses used repetition of Jacob’s death to show importance. Jacob wanted to be returned to his homeland as a testimony of the promise that his homeland was the place God’s people would dwell. It was a testimony to God’s promise, a declaration of the covenant that God was still working to that end. Both Isaac and Abraham were buried there too. 

The second death was Joseph’s. Joseph also requested his bones to be buried with his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. This was yet another way to encourage God’s people that they would return to their homeland. We too have a promise of a future homeland and a resurrection. Our future resurrection is what enables us to be steadfast in our laboring on earth. Our death will be swallowed up in victory. Our deaths point to an eternal covenant fulfilled. (1 Corinthians 15)

Point #7

“Who can fathom all his wondrous deeds?”

This is a line from a song we sang together. As we sang, I thought of Ephesians 1:18-19. In those verses, Paul speaks of the riches of our glorious inheritance and the immeasurable greatness of God’s power to us who believe. Then in Ephesians 2:7 he says “...in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” We will know immeasurable riches of God in Heaven. I already think that Jesus, the perfect lamb, dying for me and taking my sins when I was a rebel is a pretty great inheritance. Both the present and future goodness and kindness is immeasurable. I thought of Jesus as the Lion and Lamb and wondered if the image of the slain Lamb and conquering Lion is only the fringes of what magnificence God has in store for us. If in our earthly, finite minds, we see such beautiful grace in Jesus, what will our restored and reconciled minds experience in the coming ages? Who can really fathom all His wondrous deeds? May we adore him now and in the coming ages. 

Small Towns are the Best

Folks in my current city often ask why I chose to live in such a small city. There are roughly 200,000 people here. I generally reply that I’m from a much smaller city so this one is actually big to me. My hometown has only 5,000 people and the last place I lived had a whopping 30,000. I go on to brag on how it’s not crowded, people are friendly, and it is quite cheap. 

I just returned from doing some traveling around the country. I spent some time in the largest city of my country which has an estimated population between 14-20 million people. From the airport, I had to ride a metro, a metro bus, and a smaller bus to get to my friends’ house at the edge of the city. I was already on that side of the city and it took over an hour to arrive at my destination. This is yet another reason I choose the small city. I can generally travel across my city in less than 20 minutes. 

I spent the 4th of July with some dear American friends. We had an amazing feast of American style foods. The whole time was good for my soul. From there, I spent some time on yet another sea. I realized that I have lived here just over 6 months and had my feet in 3 different seas. 

From, the sea, I journeyed to the mountains. I spent some more time there with other expatriates encouraging and being encouraged. I didn’t realize how starved I had been for people who speak my own language and can identify with what my life is like until it was time to leave. 

After spending two weeks with fellow English speakers, it was a tiny jolt to my system when on the way home, I began noticing that the signs were not in English. It was an even bigger jolt when I stopped to eat a bite of dinner at a McDonald’s and noticed the place was filled with locals. I confess that I was a bit sad to return to my city without the entourage of encouraging, English-speaking friends. The Lord helped cheer me up by painting a gorgeous sunset. The next day, I made myself get out of the house. It cheered me up to be greeted by my security guard. I think he may have missed me. As per usual, I made a friend at the post office, eager to help a confused foreigner out. I’m thankful for the friendlies the Father puts in my way here. I think this small town is just right for me. 

A Dinner Party for 600

I stopped by one of my favorite places a while ago to see CFS and the rest of the peeps. As I entered, I saw Hans sitting on some couches at the front of the store. He was dressed casually and his daughter was with him. I found this weird. He asked about life and then I asked about his. I learned that he no longer works there and came to say goodbye to friends. It made me sad to realize he would no longer be there. 

I stayed for a while having tea and a snack with the other folks. It turns out that out of the whole bunch, Hans was the only one fasting. Even Hans’ wife was not fasting. It seems to me that usually if a person is working, generally, that person is not fasting. At one point, CFS looked at me and asked if I wanted to go to a fast-breaking meal with her. Wanting to get in as much time practicing the language as possible, I agreed. I went home for a little while to rest a bit and then met her back at the store just before it closed. One of the other girls, Zucchini, showed up with her husband. She asked if I could help them find, of all things, a waterbed. I told her that I hadn’t seen a waterbed in at least 20 years. Apparently her husband has some kind of back problem and they think the waterbed will help him. I managed to translate an email for them. 

CFS, Princess, and I rode with Zucchini and her husband to the dinner location. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was getting myself into. I either thought I was going to someone’s house or else to one of the free meals provided by the city. It was neither. We stood outside for a long time while Zucchini’s husband parked the car. I felt like people who were entering the building were giving us some stares. CFS finally pointed out that we were inappropriately dressed and should be wearing long sleeves. Point taken.

We finally went inside and it was quite over-stimulating for me. There was some bread, salad, and drinks on the table but no one was allowed to eat yet. We found a large table and then CFS tried to save about 20 seats for her friends. All the while, two guys were taking turns singing/chanting in Arabic? At the appropriate time, one of the two guys began to bless the food? and it lasted for at least 5 minutes. On his last Amen, the room burst into the sound of forks tinkling on plates. 

Princess leaned over at one point and said, “Can you believe one person made all of this for all of these people?” I estimated there were at least 600 people in attendance. I responded with, “That was very difficult” thinking she meant one person prepared food for 600 people.  She began chuckling and I realized she meant one person paid for all of the food. After about 15-20 minutes, the guys started praying/blessing? the food again to wrap up the meal. After his Amen, everyone jumped up and left. We were the last ones in the restaurant. All that effort for about 30 minutes seemed like overkill to me. 

After we left the dinner location, I was hopeful that I would get to go home early. There is so much language I still don’t understand so I rode around with them clueless for a bit. We eventually ended up at a place to drink tea. Again, there were about 12-15 people sitting around one table so it was a little overwhelming for me. While there, they taught me how to eat sunflower seeds the way they do. They turn the seed on it’s side with the smallest side in between their front 4 teeth. They bite down and then push the seed in a bit further and bite again/twist the shell and suck the seed into their mouths. I was grateful at 11pm when CFS wanted to go home early. 

Why I Love My Host Country

I have officially lived in my country for seven months. About a month ago, I dropped my two friends off at the airport for their return to the States. At 6 months in I was grateful I did not have to go back with them. As I rolled back into my city after 4 days at the beach, I felt like I was coming home. Sure, I miss my family and a few other American niceties, but overall, I’m glad I get to live here. 

Why am I glad I get to live here? One example happened on the bus. I had occupied myself with a language exercise on my phone when I noticed a handful of people jump from their seats. Looking up, I noticed 3 older women had just stepped on the bus. The younger folks were eager to honor the ladies by giving up their seats. 

On another day, I was in a bigger city and needed to catch a ride on a bus. The buses use the card system but alas I did not have a bus card. A sweet older man offered to let me use his card and let give him my coins. Unfortunately he did not have enough on his card for both of us. He took my coins and argued with the driver until the driver agreed to take my coins.

I love that my host culture is attentive to the needs and struggles of others. They’re not so task driven that they don’t have time to recognize when someone is struggling or needs help. I love that they respect their elders. I love how they show me incredible kindness even though I’m a stranger. I love that no matter how inconvenient it is, if I visit someone, they let me in and never act like I’m a bother. I love that my neighbors stop to talk to me. I love that I have been in several of their homes, something that almost never happened with neighbors in America. 

In addition to the kindness of locals, I get to eat amazing food. I seriously have many, “I get to live here” moments while I am eating the local cuisine. I also get to see ridiculously old historical artifacts and neat places. In my short time here, I have seen old monasteries and homes in caves. I visited the Cotton Castle, gave myself a mud bath and soaked in the “healing” waters. I have walked the same paths as some of the apostles. I’ve seen some of the first coins ever made. I have dipped my feet in 3 different seas.  

Not only are the locals great, the food delicious, the history rich, I get to experience God on levels that I wouldn’t otherwise. I’m learning more of His character and how He promised our way would be hard but He would be with us. I am regularly on my own trying to assimilate into and understand my culture but He is with me. He makes me brave. It’s not my personality to try new things and yet I live in a whole world of new. He gives me courage to brave it on my own. 

I had a day where everything seemed to go wrong and by early evening, I was quite discouraged. Here is what a wrote that day that tells of His faithfulness: 

“Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, though I bonk my head one too many times and the market is out of beef for tacos. Though I forgot to grab the coveted Krispy Kreme donut gift, and dumped my swept dirt onto the floor instead of the trash can. Though I can’t manage to close my umbrella, and if you can name it, it probably went wrong today. YET I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. I chose to be thankful and then my eyes were ready for the gifts: a last minute invite for enchiladas, catching up with a good friend, a rainbow stretched out telling of faithfulness.”

I love the innumerable opportunities to lean into the Father and find Him near.