My Little Mommy

One day I was visiting my friend’s shop. A guy was in there working on her printer. I could have sworn I heard her refer to the guy as “ablacığım” or “my little sister.” Then I heard it again. So I asked her if she had called him her little sister. We had already had some confusion that day when she said something about her older sister. I thought she said her older sister had moved back to town. She thought I didn’t understand the difference between the words for brother and sister. I finally let it go and I was clueless what she had actually said about her sister. So when I brought this subject up, she was certain I did not know the words for brother and sister. She told me that he’s a guy so that makes him an “abi” (brother.) She wouldn’t call him “abla” (sister) since he is a male. They often use the word brother or sister when referring respectively to males and females. I have become accustomed to this. I put it out of my mind until a few days later I heard my friend call her little girl, “anneciğim,” or “my little mother.” She said it over and over so I was certain I was not hearing something incorrectly. 

I did some research on this strange and illogical way of addressing people. A young boy will often, out of respect, call an older man abi. The man will often reply to him with abiciğim which literally means “my brother” but colloquially means “my dear brother.” In other words, the older man reciprocates the young boy’s respect by saying, “you too deserve respect/I’m honored to be called your brother/I want to give you the same status/respect/love. In other words, when a mom calls her daughter, “my little mommy” a figurative rather than literal meaning is implied. What she really means is, “mommy loves her sweet little girl.” She is trying to show greater affection or express feelings. 

One local language teacher went on to explain some of the culture behind this: 

This is an intersection of language and sociology..First, why do we attach so much importance to kinship names when they address somebody? The reply lies in another well-known observation: why do we attach so much importance to our neighbors? In very old times, we were nomads. As you probably know, we came here from central parts of Asia. During all those nomadic years, we acted collectively, unlike the feudal and isolated populations of Europe. For a warrior-nomad, life is not something to be carried out on individualistic motives or individual decisions. In the existence of a challenge or danger, they can quickly and easily act like a 'whole'. Maybe an instinct for getting organized, self-sacrifice for the sake of the whole, when necessary..

I thought it gave a neat look into the culture. People are so quick to use deep familial names because as nomads in the past, they desperately needed each other. I think language reflects this cultural tendency that still exists today.