Beautiful Emptiness

“From the best bliss that earth imparts we turn unfilled to Thee again.” 

-St. Bernard of Clairvaux

bliss  [blis]

noun

1. supreme happiness; utter joy or contentment

I remember several years ago I spent some time musing about marriage and thought if only I could get married my life would be blissful. Then I read Donald Miller’s book Blue Like Jazz.  In the book he includes a discussion with a friend who was a newlywed. Here is what his friend Paul had to say about marriage:  

“It’s like we are separate people, and there is no getting inside each other to read each other’s thoughts, each other’s beings. Marriage is amazing because it is the closest two people can get, but they can’t get all the way to the place of absolute knowing. Marriage is the most beautiful thing I have ever dreamed of, Don, but it isn’t everything. It isn’t Mecca. Danielle loves everything about me; she accepts me and tolerates me and encourages me. She knows me better than anybody else in the world, but she doesn’t know all of me, and I don’t know all of her. And I never thought after I got married there would still be something lacking. I always thought marriage, especially after I first met Danielle would be the ultimate fulfillment. It is great, don’t get me wrong, and I am glad I married Danielle, and I will be with her forever. But there are places in our lives that only God can go.” (p. 146) 

Here was my response to reading this:

“How amazing are You God, You designed an echo, a scent, a hint of Yourself in marriage. Marriage is the closest we can get to what our hearts ache for:  

to be known

to be loved

to be valued

to be complete

to be redeemed

We almost make it but in Your wisdom You left something lacking, leftover ache that causes us to look to You for it, You have to be our God, no human can be it all. There is still something greater than human marriage - union with You. A part of me wants to say its cruel to give us almost everything, to use all the pieces of the puzzle only to find pieces are missing. But to complete the puzzle on earth would prove You unloving, would prove that the greatest glory to be worshipped would be something temporal and not God Almighty. But instead You give us a taste, You give us hope of something greater. Our completion, our redemption, our value is this:  

‘I mean that to be in a relationship with God is to be loved purely and furiously.’ (Donald Miller Blue Like Jazz p. 146)"

This is the incredible beauty of emptiness, of lack. It is His way. God demonstrates over and over that this life and all it holds, both good and bad, is transient. My hope, my eternal bliss, my completion and redemption, it will come but not in this life.  

“For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”  -1 Corinthians 13:12  

For now, He creates lack in my life, He means for me to experience emptiness so I will indeed ‘turn unfilled to Thee again’. He means for me to find satisfaction and fulfillment for this life in Him alone over and over again.   

Check out the song that inspired this blog post here: 

"How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light." -Psalm 36:7-9