Showers of Grace

Today I went to my hometown’s 4th of July parade with my family and some friends and luckily we scored a spot in the shade. In spite of the shade, it was still a hot day with the summer sun beating down. After the parade, we went to the courthouse lawn for additional festivities. We were in the process of finishing off the remnants of the last funnel cake when a drop or two of rain began to fall from the sky. No one seemed too concerned based on the rain’s track record over the last few weeks. Week after week with no rain, grass that is more yellowish brown than green, surrounding areas with burn bans and water restrictions left most of us disbelieving it would actually rain and ruin 4th of July festivities. Gradually a few drops turned into a lot of drops which turned into the heavens opening up and spilling drops of glory on the parched ground and thirsty souls. Everyone stood in disbelief while others dashed to nearby tents. And me, I laughed hard because it was glory, answered prayer, and at the worst possible time and circumstances and yet it was a gift. Everyone was wet. Everyone was cool. Strangers were bonding together in tents squashed together like sardines. And the sun scorched earth that desperately needed water was drinking deep.

I can’t help thinking that this is how God works so frequently.  We pray pray pray for God to do something and He waits for His time schedule not ours. His answers are often not conveniently timed nor are the answers how we expected they would be answered.  

Lately I have been praying for direction in my life. There are areas that seem to be blanks and I am frustrated. Over the last week, I have received some direction but I don’t like it.  It is not convenient, it is uncomfortable, and definitely not the words or direction I was hoping for. This time instead of laughing at God’s timing and answer I balked, made excuses, argued.  

I came across the following prayer and it sums up my heart right now. May God help me to ‘breathe after holiness’, to laugh in exultation at His gifts, direction, words whatever they may be, to obey not balk.

“O LORD,

Thou knowest my great unfitness for service,

my present deadness,

my inability to do anything for thy glory,

my distressing coldness of heart.

I am weak, ignorant, unprofitable.

and loathe and abhor myself.

I am at a loss to know what thou wouldest have me do,

for I feel amazingly deserted by thee,

and sense thy presence so little;

Thou makest me possess the sins of my youth,

and the dreadful sin of my nature,

so that I feel all sin,

I cannot think or act but every motion is sin.

Return again with showers of converting grace

to a poor gospel-abusing sinner.

Help my soul to breathe after holiness,

after a constant devotedness to thee,

after growth in grace more abundantly every day.

O Lord, I am lost in the pursuit of this blessedness,

And am ready to sink because I fall short of my desire;

Help me to hold out a little longer,

until the happy hour of deliverance comes,

for I cannot lift my soul to thee

if thou of thy goodness bring me not nigh.

Help me to be diffident, watchful, tender,

lest I offend my blessed friend

in thought and behaviour;

I confide in thee and lean upon thee,

and need thee at all times to assist and lead me.

O that all my distresses and apprehensions 

might prove but Christ’s school

to make me fit for greater service

by teaching me the great lesson of humility.”

-The Valley of Vision ‘NEED OF GRACE’ p. 99