Dreaming and Unbelief

I began to notice sometime in January that I had not been sleeping well. Since then, I have basically had dreams every night outside of a handful of nights. These dreams are often very stressful. The dreams began to make me feel as if I had not really slept. The dreaming was continuous for months. I tried taking Zzzquil. I tried using a fan and black out curtains. I tried eating better. I tried Melatonin. I tried praying. I tried sleeping in another home. I tried everything I could think of and nothing helped. It seems that for now, I am stuck with the dreams.

Interestingly enough my roommate and I have been able to see a theme in our dreams. Generally my stressful dreams involve me trying to go somewhere or do something but I never make it to my destination or accomplish my task. I have these stressful dreams about once a week. As I shared this theme, my friend pointed out how my dreams reflect my life here. I share GN and then see no results so it feels like I’m going nowhere. 

Reflecting on this has made me realize that I’ve had unbelief and impatience in my heart. Sometimes I don’t feel like sharing with someone because I don’t believe it will do any good. Perhaps the dreams have persisted for so long in order to bring to the surface and root out this unbelief in my life. As I have been meditating on this and praying through it, the Lord has been faithful to bring truth into my life. I’ve found some quotes by some 19th century men that have encouraged me greatly. To think the Father would have someone write something 200 years ago in order to encourage me now is humbling. 

“Never be discouraged because good things get on so slowly here; and never fail daily to do that good which lies next to your hand. Do not be in a hurry, but be diligent. Enter into the sublime patience of the Lord. Trust to God to weave your little thread into the great web, though the pattern shows it not yet. When God's people are able and willing thus to labor and wait, remember that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day; the grand harvest of the ages shall come to its reaping, and the day shall broaden itself to a thousand years, and the thousand years shall show themselves as a perfect and finished day.” -George MacDonald

“Patience is the finest and worthiest part of fortitude, and the rarest too.” - John Ruskin

It has been said that “impatience acts as a blight on a blossom; it may wound the budding forth of the noblest fruit; relative to the dispensations of Providence, it is ingratitude; relative to our own purposes and attainments, it will be found to impede their progress.” - John Thomas Dale

One of the great hearts of the earth has said: “O, impatient ones! Did the leaves say nothing to you as they murmured when you came hither today? They were not created this spring, but months ago; and the summer just begun, will fashion others for another year. At the bottom of every leaf stem is a cradle, and in it an infant germ; and the winds will rock it, and the birds will sing to it all summer long; and next year it will unfold. So God is working for you, and carrying forward to the perfect development all the processes of your lives.” -H.W. Beecher

“Take heart! Even if it feels like it, you do not labor in vain. As Psalm 126:5-6 says, ‘Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.’” -HGS

As a summary:

*Do the good that lies before me. 

*Be diligent rather than hasty. 

*Enter into sublime (magnificent, awe-inspiring, stunning) patience.

*What is required is labor and waiting.

*Today could be causing ripples for the next thousand years.

*Perseverance requires patience.

*Impatience impedes or harms progress. It’s equated with ingratitude.

*New leaves are already in the process before the current ones are dead and gone. There are things going on beyond view. Life is already in the making before we ever have visible evidence.

*Laboring even if tears are involved will result in a joyful harvest.

One of the main ideas I have taken away is that planting, watering, and reaping takes lots of time and labor. It takes patience. No farmer plants a seed and then expects a fruit-bearing tree the next day. He does expect to have to look after it and water it and check for fruit. I take great comfort in the knowledge that growing something is supposed to be slow.