He had been away for a long time but knew it was time to go back. In some ways he was ready and in some ways he was deathly afraid. He hadn’t left on good terms. He had left because his brother wanted to kill him. Reflecting back, it seemed like his brother was justified in his desire. After all, he had taken advantage of him in his weak state and managed to wrench his firstborn birthright away from him. That was an old wound. Then with his mom’s help, he tricked his father and flat out robbed his brother of the firstborn blessing too. That’s when his brother vowed to kill him and he packed his bags and fled.
Had it really been twenty years since he had left? He wondered if the years had caused his brother’s anger to mellow or flame all the more. He wished there was a way to avoid him all together. What if Esau killed him? Or worse, what if he killed his wives or his children and made Jacob watch? He briefly remembered God’s promise that the land would be given to his abundant descendants. Was God really going to stick to his promise after all that Jacob had done. Could he really trust this God to provide what He had promised? As he made his way back with his flocks and herds, wives, and children, God’s angels met him. “Perhaps, God’s faithfulness is not fragile after all,” he thought, “maybe everything is going to be alright.”
He sent some messengers ahead to let Esau know he was coming. The messenger returned and said Esau was coming to meet him with 400 men. Four hundred men? Apparently Esau was still ticked. He began to panic. He began to look within for a way to protect himself from Esau’s wrath. He racked his brain for a plan. He divided everyone into two groups thinking that surely if Esau attacked one group, the other could escape.
He still felt unsettled. “What a fool I have been!” he said. He dropped to his knees and cried out to God. He reminded God that it was His idea that he return. He realized he was unworthy of all the gifts God had blessed him with up to this point. He confessed his fear and asked God to be his protector. He remembered God’s promise of land and descendants and hope was again birthed in his heart.
He decided to make a peace offering with Esau. He got together a bunch of animals to send ahead. He wanted to make up for my former sins against Esau. He wanted peace with him more than anything. He sent everyone away. He was alone, or so he thought. He saw a figure in the darkness. He and this figure wrestled until day break. Suddenly searing pain came as the figure put his hip out of socket. Jacob held on and begged for a blessing. The figure blessed him and changed his name to “Strives with God.”
As morning came and he anticipated his brother’s arrival, he held his head higher than ever before. He had seen God face to face, wrestled him even, and was still alive to tell about it. What need did he have to fear Esau when God Almighty was on his side?
When Esau and his 400 comrades crossed the horizon, Jacob slowly began to approach him, bowing in humility every so often to hopefully show his remorse, his repentance. As he raised from his last bow he saw his brother running at him with joyful tears streaming down his eyes. They had a long, wet embrace as they wept together.
He later told Esau that seeing his face was like seeing the face of God. He rightfully deserved to suffer at the hands of Esau. He had not loved him as a brother. He had wronged him as an enemy. He stole both his birthright and blessing, the two most valuable things to the firstborn brother. Yet in spite of these wretched wrongs, Esau met him with grace, with an embrace. So Esau’s face, his response was like the face of God. Jacob had also rebelled against God. He had deserved death and destruction from God. God had wrapped him in an wrestling embrace and in the end, He too had given the undeserved blessing of grace. As he limped the rest of his days, he remembered the day when he had received two helpings of undeserved grace.
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