Today is the Day

I awoke this morning like other mornings, a little groggy and wondering if it was time to get up or if I had more time to sleep. It was still dark so surely I had a few more minutes? I then jolted wide awake with a start remembering that this is the day. This.Is.The.Day. 

My long awaited and long desired journey began today, my car packed and ready to begin the first leg of this new adventure. As I pulled out early this morning, a thick fog lingered over the mountains. Beauty. Interspersed amidst the fog were pale hints of color bringing the first lights of morning. More beauty. I drove up the mountain and through the fog and finally made my way through it to where I could see clearly. 

The fog reminded me of something I read when my desire for this new journey was most intense and yet at that time I could not see how it could ever come to fruition. The author described a foggy night while she was driving. She said the fog was so thick she had to roll down her window, drive painfully slow and strain her eyes for the reflectors on the road. She drove like this for a long while and then suddenly the fog lifted. She was able to see clearly and thus speed along. 

She connected this experience to faith in trusting God with our futures. She explained that often God doesn’t want to give us the whole picture but rather only our very next step (or reflector). When He’s ready for us to see the next step, He will make it plain. Often He intends for us to move painfully slow for a while. When He’s ready, He will clear out the fog and we will then be able to see a good bit of the road ahead.  

The fog is a metaphor for my life. Today I can see a good bit ahead of me. There were so many days years of the painfully slow and straining for the next reflector. Now that I’m through the fog, I don’t regret it. Nope. Instead, I see it’s beauty.

In this first leg of my journey, I had to say some goodbyes. I was asked several times today if I’m excited/nervous/scared/sad/happy? My honest answer is that I am none of the above. I think maybe the emotions are too intense. Maybe I have went into some weird survival mode where I’ve shut down my emotions. To some degree, I’m sure this is true. I described this to my friend Brooke tonight and she said, “Maybe you just know that today is the day. It’s time. It’s natural. What is there to be emotional about, this is the time.” I think there’s some truth to her words as well. 

I’m seeing more and more that true following of Jesus is made up of small, day to day steps, the small acts of faith. In reality, today is just another day, another chance to follow Him like I have been following Him day in and day out. Faith is a daily journey. This particular day just happens to involve leaving family for an extended time and driving across country. But even those steps are just steps. Maybe that’s why the day has felt surreal and unemotional. Maybe we make things out to be BIG things in our head when in reality, it’s all just small parts of a larger whole.

So friend, stay strong in the small acts of faith. Follow Jesus today. Look with all your might for that next reflector and try to enjoy the beauty of the slow fog. 

"Climbing in the Spirit is accomplished by kneeling, and not by running, by surrender, and not by determination. Despair of self leads to utter desperation, but beyond these mists lies the sunshine of God's presence. Many a soul will turn back to accustomed marshlands of defeat rather than brave the fogs of frustration; but the mountain peaks rise high above the rain and gloom."  -Oswald Chambers