Fearlessly Unstoppable

Fear. 

It is such a powerful thing. It enslaves. 

The topic has arisen often over the past few weeks. Fear can be like a tornado ripping through lives and the aftermath is catastrophic. 

Because of fear, we cower, we lash out, we hide. We hurt ourselves, we hurt others. We attempt to sabotage relationships, we look for the worst. We doubt, we worry, we blame God. We connive and control and attempt to insulate ourselves from pain. Fear brings us nothing but death and misery.

Another thought has been swirling around my head from a scene in ‘Once Upon a Time in Wonderland.’ The scene involves Jafar (a sorcerer) and the Jabberwocky (who has the ability to read a person’s fears.)

Jafar: Jabberwocky, I want you to tell me, what am I afraid of now?

Jabberwocky: You’re afraid of nothing. 

Jafar: And that is what ultimate power is. 

I recognize that Jafar used his fearlessness to do evil. I also realize that to fear God is a healthy thing. The quote made me ponder what my own life would look like if I had no fear other than fearing God? How powerful would I be if I could eliminate the enslaving haunting. What if I abandoned all other avenues and fully placed all my weight, hope, and trust on God? I would be UNSTOPPABLE. 

What if I really believed Romans 8 all the time? Really believed that I have zero condemnation against me eternally. That through Christ, God is forever pleased with me. That I am eternally valued as a child of God and He set me free from being enslaved to fear. That any suffering I endure is pathetic compared to the future glory that awaits me. That in my fearlessness even amidst suffering, I get to be a representative to the world that they too can be set free from their bondage to corruption and obtain freedom like I have.  What if I put my whole weight on God even in the hard times of pain and when I don’t understand or when He says no? What if I trusted that He was using those times to conform me into the image of His Son? What if I always remembered that God is for me not against me and He proved that by crushing His Son rather than me? What if I remembered that no one can bring a charge against me except Christ and he has declared me forever innocent and is instead interceding for me? What if I solidified in my heart that my soul and eternity belongs to Jesus and nothing in this life can take that hope from me? Not trials, stress, persecution, job loss, cancer, government, famine, starvation, terrorists, death, life, demons, things to come, not anything.

If I have one aim for the rest of my days on earth, I want to aim to learn to trust God fully and completely. To throw my whole weight on Him and learn to stomp on the head of the serpent of fear. The reality is that I do still fear. In the last several weeks, I have feared a lack of finances, even though I have never in my 31 years missed a meal and that God has miraculously and abundantly provided for me over the last year of being semi-employed. I fear being bitten by a dog again, even though my first dog bite was only a mere nip. Just yesterday, I was out on my bike and heard a noise that made my insides cringe. I thought it was a dog barking nearby but it turned out to be a car engine. What!? Am I that fearful that any loud noise outdoors makes me immediately go to the place where I think I’m about to be mauled by an animal? I fear loss. I fear having to endure pain. I fear, albeit less and less, making phone calls. I fear at times that I will oversleep. I’ve been sleeping without an alarm clock for 3 and a half years and God has faithfully woken me on time and yet I fear that He will forget about me on my next early morning. I fear the unknown most of all. 

Lately, the ocean has been a theme in my life. The song, ‘Oceans’, by Hillsong has been in my thoughts reminding me of this post and that call so many years ago of God asking me to set my sail and risk the ocean. And then I read this in a book:

“He explained correctly why I don’t like swimming in the ocean: there are living things lurking beneath the surface; the waves are unpredictable and splash my face; it’s cold and deep; there are undertows and pulls that frighten; it’s salty and sandy and alive. I do not like swimming in the ocean. I much prefer a swimming pool, a heated pool at that. The temperature is controlled. You can enter at your pleasure, either the deep end or the shallow end. You can go in as far as you like and then climb back out. Inflate a floating device and float on the top if you choose! The bottom is level and smooth. There are no surprises. Nothing lives in a swimming pool. And that’s the kind of God I would prefer as well: one that is controlled and moderate; a God I can measure and understand. I can enter His depths but only as far as I am comfortable. However that’s not the kind of God we have. Our God is an ocean of a God. He is alive and dangerous. - Our God is wild and untamable. He is expansive and unpredictable.”

Oh, how frequently do I want think I want a pocket-sized God that I can order around and who will fit easily into my plans and agenda. If this were the case, I would fear more and screw things up majorly. Instead, I want to learn to trust God even in the depths of the scary unknown because I get more of Him in the depths. The book went on to say, “Resting in God, we can be free from all anxiety, which means deep soul rest.” Deep soul rest. Who doesn’t want that? Deep soul rest comes from choosing to trust rather than worry. What does worry accomplish anyway? No amount of my fretting will make God change his mind. He will do what He has purposed to do and I would do well to throw all of my weight on His plans not my own. I decided to trust Him fully with a situation this weekend. I decided to let Him work out the details and I chose to trust rather than worry. And wouldn’t you know that the result for me was a deep soul rest and getting to see God handle the situation with the utmost ease and thus worshiping Him for doing so. 

I end my ramblings of fear and trust with the song ‘Oceans’ as a prayer.

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep

My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand

Will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior