Be Holy

"There is no vein in me that is not full of the blood of thy Son, whom I have crucified and crucified again, by multiplying many, and often repeating the same, sins."  -John Donne

For this season of Lent, I decided to spend time daily in stillness attempting to hear the voice of God and listen to what He wants to speak into my life. It has been a busy two and a half weeks and I have failed a lot. I think I have only managed to actually be still and listen and hear His words three or four times thus far. Other days I fell asleep in the stillness and some days were full throttle days in which I never made it to the chair to fall asleep listening. In spite of all of this, He has spoken. The words have been more like perpetual proddings to my dull heart rather than burning bush moments but the message has came across nonetheless.  Be holy.

I stumbled across an idea for a confession box. Throughout the season of Lent, I have been writing my confessions on pieces of paper and placing them in the jar. At the end of Lent I will burn them as a symbolic representation that they have all been paid for on the cross.  

This daily exercise of pursuing holiness and seeking to confess has flushed much to the surface of my heart. I see my sin more clearly and find that I am wicked. I was first majorly convicted when hanging out with my nieces (ages 6 and 8). I am constantly trying to push them towards Jesus so I used our time together to explain the meaning of Lent, Good Friday and Easter. We discussed how Jesus took all of our sins on the cross and I asked them to name some sins. Then I told them I was going to pray and thank Jesus for His sacrifice but first I wondered if they would like me to pray about anything specifically. My youngest niece gave a big sigh and dropped her face in her hands saying, ‘I lied to one of my friends at school.‘ In that moment I was stunned by her childlike conviction and her willingness to confess it. I also admit the darkness of my own heart that wanted to laugh and tell her that a little lie is not really THAT big of a deal. I also saw the starkness of how reluctant I am to confess my sins no matter how big or small.

It’s funny how frequently God uses children in my life to teach me lessons. God spoke in that moment to the depths of my heart and called “foul” on my perception of white lies. Since then, He has been combing through my soul and dredging up little sins. Over the past several weeks I have had childlike conviction over the sins that I tend to sweep under the rug simply because I know people who do those things far more often and on a grander scale than I do. These are some of my confessions:

I was selfish towards ---- today. I withheld love deeming him unworthy in that moment.

During my time glorifying You, I wanted just a little bit of glory for myself.

While sharing a bed with my sister, I selfishly hoarded the covers.

I judged today.

I was bored today. In light of all that You have graced me with, how can I be bored?

I had selfishness towards ------- as she was cutting in to my time.

My heart is quick to criticize and slow to pray.

I was self-centered and entitled today.

Entitlement again.

I was ungrateful and complaining.

Does it somehow make lying acceptable to God because I don’t lie as much as so and so? Am I justified before God because I am less selfish than this person and that person? When did holiness become a comparison between myself and others around me? When did I begin to base my righteousness on how I compare to my comrades rather than seeing that my righteousness comes solely from Jesus?  

Here is what God requires:

“Who shall ascend the hill of the LORD? And who shall stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully. He will receive blessing from the LORD and righteousness from the God of his salvation.” -Psalm 24:3-5

“What does it mean for God to be holy? He is without error. Our God is perfect. Period. There is nothing wrong in our God. He has never had a wrong thought, He has never done a wrong deed, He has never had a wrong motive. Everything in Him is right, righteous, unadulterated, pure. - He has no equal.” -David Platt

“but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.’” -1 Peter 1:15-16

   

There it is. Be holy. But how? Why? 

In the same chapter, Peter says “according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, in the sanctification of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and for sprinkling with his blood: May grace and peace be multiplied to you.” -vs 2  

I once did a word study on the word sprinkling. It means that Christ’s body was damaged and we have been splattered or sprinkled with His blood. Peter goes on to say in verses 17-19 that if we view God as our Father, we should live lives of terror because essentially we have been made holy by something priceless. He says we were bought, not with something that could be thrown away in a trash bin like silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ. This is my motivation to pursue holiness, to confess the tiny pebbles of sin in my own life as well as the giant idols. I have been purchased with something of infinite value. Jesus was damaged for me and I have been splattered with His blood from His damaged body. May I endeavor to live a life worthy of that sacrifice. May I not drag His precious name and precious blood through the mud of self-righteousness and petty sins.